AFTER BREXIT CHILDREN OF MEN RECLASSIFIED AS DOCUMENTARY

LONDON – Following the shock result of the UK referendum to leave the European Union, the dystopian satire Children of Men has been reclassified as a documentary.

The British Film Institute has reclassified Alfonso Cuaron’s 2006 dystopian satire Children of Men following the Brexit result of the UK referendum on the European Union. A spokesperson for the BFI said:

The thing is we originally thought that the racism and hatred towards immigrants shown in Cuaron’s film was over the top, but actually we see that it is the driving thought of most little Englanders, of who there are much more than we realized.

But why is the BFI making such a political stance?

Well, did you like An Education? Or Hunger? Or Macbeth, Nanny McPhee, Amy, or Tinker Tailor, Soldier ,Spy? Or Game of Thrones? Or Under the Skin, or Pride, or Berbarian Sound Studio?

I didn’t like Nanny McPhee.

But did you like The Lobster, fish Tank, Belle? Shaun the Sheep?

Yes.

Then those were all made with vital help from the EU Media fund which paid the UK over 130 million pounds over the last decade. That won’t be there anymore.

Oh.

Exactly.

Children of Men star Clive Owen.

ALFONSO CUARON’S ROMA ACTUALLY SET IN MEXICO

HOLLYWOOD – The new Netflix movie Roma by writer director Alfonso Cuarón is actually set in Mexico and not Italy.

Alfonso Cuarón, writer-director-producer of the anticipated Netflix film Roma, last night revealed that his new film was set in Mexico and not Italy, as its title suggested.

Speaking with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY the Children of Men director said:

We set it in a neighborhood in Mexico City which is called Roma. I liked the sound of it as well because of the confusion. I thought there would be some cognitive dissonance which would make people perhaps think of places and how they relate to them.

But it’s called Roma?

Yes.

But Roma is in Italia.

Yes, but this one is in Mexico.

Not Italy?

No. I was inspired by my childhood. I grew up in a relatively affluent part of the city. As a child, I was brought up like many of my compatriots…

It’s set in Mexico. 

Yes.

Roma will have a limited release before arriving on Netflix.

TOP 5 CLIVE OWEN FILMS

HOLLYWOOD – Clive Owen is famous the world over as an ‘actor’, but which of his twenty odd films are worth a watch.

Well, Studio Exec has gone to the trouble of watching them all and here is our list of the top 5 essential Clive Owen films. 

1. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

2. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

3. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

4. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

 5. Children of Men: Alfonso Cuaron’s bleakly dystopian view of a childless world boasts a fine performance from a bedraggled, shopworn Clive Owen, who, as Theo, creates a dryly witty and likable hero.

Children of Men is available.

47 FILMS: 23. CHILDREN OF MEN

47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams continues with Clive Owen in Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men.

The future is a grim reality. Children are not being born and humanity is on a nihilistic march towards its own extinction. Theo (Clive Owen) is a working stiff who likes his drink, an occasion flutter on the dogs and to just get by. But when he is contacted by his ex-wife Julian (Julianne Moore) to do a job for her radical movement the Fishes, he is tasked with guarding perhaps the only hope in a world of increasing hopelessness and violence.

Alfonso Cuarón’s film takes PD James science fiction novel and creates one of the most interestingly subversive and thoughtful dystopias of recent times. The Britain of virulent anti-immigration hatred and militarized police is all too recognizable. As with his Harry Potter film, the Mexican director proves to have a perceptive eye at capturing those particularly English details of rain wet tarmac and occasional beauty of the ‘Sceptred Isle’.

Clive Owen has never been better as the rumpled hero. His apathy and non-ideological stance attains a nobility in contrast to the fanatical opponents of the political process. Add to this Cuarón’s now famous extended one shot sequences and what we have is a deeply intelligent and witty political thriller (brilliant cameo by Michael Caine by the way) that is also an exciting chase film.

For the rest of our 47 films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams, Click Here.

VENICE DIARY 1: EVEREST

HOLLYWOOD -The 72nd Venice Film Festival has begun and the Studio Exec is loose on the Lido. Check out what he saw and why.

Last night I attended the Variety party at the Danieli Hotel in Venice. It’s a dapper little place with a nice view of the Grand Canal which you can enjoy while sipping your prosecco and avoiding Alfonso Cuaron – I still owe him $500 from a little bet I made him about Sandra Bullock and success.The food was science fiction inspired and came in little plastic pods that were fired into your mouth by myopic chefs. Delicious. Outside they were serving water melon cocktails, blue blinis and normal drinks that human beings might want. The whole place was chock-a-block with journalists, film professionals and struggling young actors and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t punch anyone, though – in my defense – I was loud and obnoxious.

This morning was a rude awakening. Back on the Lido I stumbled into the screening of “Everest”. Many people have asked me in the past ‘Why don’t you climb Everest, Exec?’ But I’ve always assumed they were just being rude, or surreal. I didn’t realize but there are actually idiots who do this. Or at least try to. The film Everest is record of the latter kind. Lesson to take home: if you’re a postman, don’t try and climb Mount Everest. More generally, if you’re anyone, don’t try and climb Everest. Jason Clarke is a great actor and I’d like to see him in more stuff. This is IMAX and 3D and has a huge mountain in it (one of the biggest I’m informed) but it is Jason Clarke who really gives the movie heart and credibility.

I also went to see a Mexican film – “A Beast with a Thousand Heads” – by the same guy who did “La Zona” back in 2007. It’s a fair thriller. Restrained, intelligent and quite funny, but it’s spoiled by one glaring implausibility. I won’t tell you because it’d spoil it for you  and I know you already have your ticket.

Tonight I’m off to see Netflix’s new movie “Beasts of No Nation”, which ironically is what I used to be referred to after I got fired from Universal.

More Venice diaries to follow.

NEW JAWS MOVIE TO BE FROM SHARK’S POINT OF VIEW

HOLLYWOOD – Following its recent 40 year anniversary, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws is to be remade with an interesting twist: telling the same story but entirely from the shark’s point of view.

I, Jaws will be directed by Alfonso Cuarón and will be an exact retelling of the original film, set in the waters surrounding Amity in the early seventies, but taken entirely from Jaws’ perspective.

The swimmers will be menaced and the Chief Brody, Matt Hooper and Quint will try to kill the shark but we will see all the action from the water. Cuarón came down to the Studio Exec bungalow to discuss the project:

I’m very interested in telling familiar story from a different perspective. And once you start thinking about it, this terrifying tale of the unknown and unknowable becomes totally different if you take Jaws as our main character and try to understand his experience and his feelings and motivations. Maybe he just wanted to be friends. Maybe every time he tried to grab someone, the naked swimmer, the guy in the little boat he was just trying to say hello and then they’d start screaming and hollering and the water would turn red.

But how will it work? I mean a lot of the original film takes place away from the shark.

Exactly. We think the killing is at the center of the shark’s life but of course it isn’t. The shark has other issues. He doesn’t remember his father. He was abandoned and feels this immense loneliness. But he also has the wonderful capacity to appreciate the beauty of the ocean. The starry nights. The shooting stars. The humans, with their splashing and their dogs and their floating mattress… they are the invaders and polluters of his realm. He sees them kill an innocent shark and hang it up on the dock. But despite this our ‘monster’ is forgiving. When he hears the men singing on the Orca, he bangs on the side of the boat with his snout, in rhythm with the song. He wants to sing with the men, bond with them.

I, Jaws will be released in 2016.

ALFONSO CUARON GRAVITY FOLLOW UP A DENTIST THRILLER

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of Gravity, Alfonso Cuaron‘s new film comes down to earth with a bang in a new Dentist Thriller starring flavor of the moment Matthew McConaughey.

Although the setting is going to be a little more mundane the director has promised that it will be just as engrossing as the space walk joyride of his previous Oscar nominated effort.

Cuaron spoke to Studio Exec earlier today:

What I want is exactly the same sense of excitement and immersion. In the story Matthew McConaughey is a Beverly Hills dentist, the best of his kind and William H. Macy is a Mafia Godfather who has the worst toothache because he likes eating candy. And so he kidnaps the dentist who has to fix his teeth without causing any pain. The whole thing is done in one take. We go inside the mouth, outside, into the drill, out of the drill, around the surgery, into the tooth and round and round. It’s going to be like Rope. But better.

William H. Macy said he was looking forward to the shoot though it would call for him to keep his mouth open for three weeks. ‘I’m dedicated to my craft,’ Macy said. ‘But still I’m not looking forward to it.’

Cavity will be released in 2015. 

AWARDS SEASON TO BLAME FOR DROP IN FILM PRODUCTION

HOLLYWOOD – The major Studios have come out in a united front to combat the menace of Awards Season, which they say is severely hampering actual film production.

An insider at Fox said, ‘We just can’t get films made at the moment. It starts in November and goes all the way through to February and it’s non-stop.’

A colleague from Universal agreed:

We’re constantly fighting to get actors to clear their schedules. Matthew McConaughey, since the McConaughey-eissance, is impossible to get on the line. Ditto Tom Hanks. And it isn’t just actors, Alfonso Cuarón took seven years to make Gravity, but it’ll be another  seven years before he gets onto his next film, he’s so busy walking around collecting gongs for this one. 

Paramount also butted in:

Why can’t everyone be like Woody Allen? NO, not in THAT way! I mean… Oh Jesus. When Ronan Farrow sees this, he’s going to Twi-zerk. 

Independent analysts, however, responded that although there is a definite drop in production over this period, the Studios easily make up for the losses by churning out material that will never bother the attention of the Academy. An insider backed up this conclusion with the observation:

Around this time of year, there’s always a drop off and people are wandering around the back lots a bit with nothing to do. Except for Vince Vaughn, Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson and Kevin James. Those boys just keep their heads down and knock out hit after hit after hit of un-award-worthy bilge.

For more Oscars coverage CLICK HERE.

NASA SLAM GRAVITY: ‘NOT FILMED IN SPACE’

HOLLYWOOD – NASA have come out and slammed Alfonso Cuarón’s new film Gravity, saying that ‘it obviously was not filmed in space, as the director has repeatedly claimed.’ 

Professor Humbert Less gave a Powerpoint presentation which involved clips from the film to which he pointed with a long white stick to prove factual inaccuracies and what he called ‘give-aways that conclusively proved that some kind of special effects trickery was used.’   

Prof. Less further stated:

I find it highly unlikely that Mr. Clooney and Ms. Bullock ever went into orbit, Mr. Clooney certainly did not challenge anyone for a record space walk. As for the ‘story’ of the film, the exploding shuttle and the satellites must somehow have been made via models or a computer, because it just looked too dangerous and we would have noticed that amount of activity going on on our special scanners.

 Cuarón responded by saying that NASA:

Should shut its fat f*cking face. I did it in space. Clooney did it in space. So if you’re saying I didn’t you’re also calling my son a liar and George Clooney a liar. And Sandra Bullock from The Blind Side a liar! 

 Gravity is in theatres now.

LONDON FILM FESTIVAL DIARY: DAY 2.



LONDON – Now generally speaking if I see three words on a movie poster I tend to run in the opposite direction and those words are ‘Starring Sandra Bullock’. That sound you hear are the thumping footfalls retreating into the distance of a hefty Studio Exec.And yet the perhaps the most amazing thing the big spectacular 3D space extravaganza Gravity does is not the outrageous space, the 12 minute single takes, but the fact it makes me run willingly toward precisely those three words.
I had an opportunity to talk to the Bullock about the filming and she revealed some of the secrets:

People think that we did it all in computers but that what the producers said to get the health and safety brigade off their backs. What they did was fire me and George into space using giant catapults and then film the scene in twenty minute segments before we fell back to Earth. People think it’d be dangerous but the facts if me and George are both made of Teflon and it was actually a lot of fun.

Before I could get any more details, she was bustled away by security, leaving me to ponder the wonders of a universe that has just produced a great film starring the woman from The Blind Side.

 

GRAVITY: REVIEW

VENICE – Buzz Lightyear and that chick from Speed manage somehow to fall off Space.

I’m not sure how they’re doing it, but Alfonso Cuaron has made a 3D film that isn’t shit! It’s a roller-coaster ride, but imagine the roller-coaster was in space and then after a few minutes the roller-coaster started falling apart and exploding and being utterly wrecked and all that. And George Clooney is there to help us out but Miss Congeniality is nowhere near as good an astronaut and we’re flying and we’re drifting and we’re inside the helmet and we’re outside the helmet and it’s all one shot. There’s a bit of philosophical Contact/2001/Solaris guff about is there a God or not, but this film definitely answers NO, because Alfonso Cuaron makes films but once ever blue moon, while Gore Verbinski poops one out every year.