PAUL RUDD TO PLAY STEVE GUTTENBERG

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Rudd is to play Steve Guttenberg in a new biopic of the actor made famous by Cocoon, Three Men and a Baby and Police Academy.

The new Ant-Man, Paul Rudd, spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the project:

Steve Guttenberg was my inspiration growing up and I would never have thought to have challenged the role if it wasn’t for the fact that the script was out of this world and Alejandro González Iñárritu is a director I greatly admire.

Based on Iñárritu’s own script the film – provisionally entitled Guttenberg – focuses on a late moment in Steve Guttenberg’s career. Rudd explains:

This is not a classical biopic which sweeps from childhood through early struggles and success to inevitable decline. Instead we find Steve at a later part of his career. The heady days of the Eighties are over and the nineties have been dry, but Steve is preparing his directorial debut P.S. Your Cat Is Dead. Alejandro sees the film as a companion to Birdman, continuing his obsession with stars of the 80s and 90s, seeking to make artistic statements.

Did you see the original film?

Yes. It should be a lot better known. It’s really good. We want to make people realize that the guy from Short Circuit was an accomplished actor and director and not think of him as simply a possible cloned threat from China.

A what?

  There’s talk that China have 3D printed an army of Guttenbergs.

Good God!

Quite.

Guttenberg Will be released in 2023.

DENNIS QUAID TO STAR IN BILL O’REILLY’S KILLING KITTENS

HOLLYWOOD – Inner Space star Dennis Quaid signs on for Bill O’Reilly’s Killing Kittens.

Star of A Dog’s Purpose, Dennis Quaid doubles down in a new film Killing Kittens, an adaptation of Bill O’Reilly’s bestselling novel. The Revevant director Alejandro González Iñárritu dropped by the Studio Exec bungalow to talk it through. dennis quaid

Endurance interests me. Suffering fascinates me. And animals too. In my first movie, Amores Perros, we used this dog and I became very attached to him. That relationship fascinated me. So I wondered what it would be like for a man who had to spend his whole day killing kittens. Then I read Bill O’Reilly’s amazing book. Dennis read it also and loved it and we’re making the movie.

What sort of job involves killing kittens?

They’re not going to be happy with me telling you this, but there’s a popular fast food hamburger which is made almost entirely from kitten meat.

Quaid himself has insisted that the new movie won’t feature the harming of any actual animals. 

That’s true. We talked about this a great deal. Dennis has this huge heart and he would be very upset if he knew how many kittens he will actually kill when we make the movie.

Wait. So you are killing kittens. 

Absolutely. To do otherwise would be fraudulent to cinema.

But Dennis thinks he isn’t killing animals. 

Actors are so stupid. I’ll tell him they’re just really realistic animatronics. I told Leo that the river would be really warm because we heated it up for him and he dove right in. This was in Alaska in December.

Killing Kittens will be released in 2018.

REVENANT PREQUEL: FIRST IMAGE

HOLLYWOOD – The first image from the highly anticipated prequel to Alejandro Inarritu’s The Revenant hit the internet today.

Alejandro Inarritu’s The Revenant was a huge hit with audiences and critics last year and won Leonardo diCaprio a belated Oscar nod. Now the prequel has begun shooting and today the Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the first shot from the production.

The film will chart Hugo Glass’ life as a child in the wilds of frontier land America. His friendship with the native first nation peoples and his immersion in the wildlife and particularly his friendship with old Ben, a beautiful friendly Grisly Bear.

Inarritu spoke on the telephone to the Exec:

I felt we had done something of a disservvice to nature in our film. We showed an unrelentingly harsh environment and I wanted to re-balance that a little. Also here with Hugo’s friendship foregrounded I think people will see the first film in a sharper more tragic light.

The Revenant: Bear With Me will be released in 2018.

DANGEROUS REVENANT PARTIES SWEEP HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD – The Los Angeles Sheriff’s office has issued a warning, instructing the general public to not indulge in parties inspired by the film The Revenant.

Sheriff Joel Mackey told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that ‘the Revenant parties’ (as they are called) have so far cost the lives of over two hundred revelers.

It’s a horrible thing. Organised via the internet crowds of thirty to forty people descend on some abandoned warehouse or waste ground out of the way somewheres where no one is likely to happen by. There will be some drinks and refreshments comprised of homemade alcohol and squirrel meat. On a prearranged signal a wild bear is then released and will indulge in sexual relations with one or more of the party goers. This often ends in wounding and has led to fatalities. As if that wasn’t enough, everyone is then packed into a portable freezer unit, like an ice truck or a meat locker or something where they spend the next three nights naked and begging to be killed.

Variations on this basic model include thrill seekers being dragged naked through the snow and thrown off cliffs and into pine trees. Animal rights groups have criticized the use of live animals for entertainment purposes and although the number of bears injured is actually very small in comparison to the number of party-goers killed they also object to the violence, including musket shots and stabbings that have been discovered on some of the animals. ‘There was also a horse that was… well, if I told you it would be a spoiler,’ said a spokesperson for the American Society from the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

However, the film’s director Alejandro G. Iñárritu believes the parties are actually a good thing:

Okay so some people get killed, but the important thing is that they feel they are part of an interactive experience with the movie. Anything that can bring them close to the  true nature of the wild is surely a good thing, don’t you think? When we were making the film we had a hell of a lot of fun with hypothermia, frost bite and a little light cannibalism. The fact that some fans of the film are going through the same thing is a testament to how the film is connecting with its audience.

Although officially not illegal, the Sheriff has declared that such parties are highly unsafe and people should avoid them at all costs.

Sheriff Mackey told the Studio Exec:

What we at the Sheriff’s office can’t understand is why can’t people base their theme parties on something more wholesome. What about a Peanuts party? Or a Hateful Eight shindig? The death toll is already high and only looks like going up if this continues. These people have very little understanding of what a savage bear can do when unleashed on a crowd of scantily clad ravers, all of whom are goading the animal.

Leonardo diCaprio and Tom Hardy, the stars of the film, are planning on releasing a charity single – a cover of Don McLean’s Vincent – the proceeds from which will go towards a bear refuge for damaged animals.

The Revenant is currently on release.

THE REVENANT – REVIEW

THE REVENANT – REVIEW: Alejandro González Iñárritu’s follow up to Birdman, The Revenant is an inspiring tale of survival ruined by blatant product placement.

Drowned on the Titanic, jailed for embezzlement, lobotomized on an island, beaten by Jack Nicholson, betrayed, basketball diaried, tricked into suicide by his girlfriend and a priest, Leonardo diCaprio has to be one of the unluckiest men alive. In The Revenant he’s torn to pieces by a bear and frozen by a hard winter, attacked by Indians, half drowned in a river and dropped from cliffs. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Tom Hardy offs his son and leaves him for dead. It’s almost as if Iñárritu is putting DiCaprio through some sort of Oscar endurance test. But it’s well worth the journey and diCaprio is magnificent along with Hardy.

With Terrence Malick’s cinematographer Emanuel Lubezki and set desginer Jack Fisk, there’s a fair bit of the Malickian here, but Iñárritu is more interested in nature red in tooth and claw. Immersed in the elemental extremes of fire, water, frost and violence, The Revenant drags the audience through an unforgiving wilderness. A history of massacres looms in the background and cold freezes throughout the film. There’s also a bit Tarkovsky with visions of floating women and sopping landscapes forgotten by an absentee God. Occasionally, the story veers too far into the extreme with logic and credibility be damned, a precipice too far if you will. But I’ll be gored by a bear and buggered by it too, if you can find a more fascinating and visually sumptuous depiction of why we have dentistry and central heating.

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