HOLLYWOOD – Liam Neeson and Alec Baldwin have stepped in and solved women.
The world breathed a sigh of relief last night after news broken that Liam Neeson and Alec Baldwin had got together and solved women.
Alec Baldwin spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:
It was looking a bit tricky back there. Lots of people were wondering how it was going to pan out. There’s the #MeToo movement and then there’s also #TimesUp. And what’s going on with Kevin Spacey and Woody Allen and Aziz Anzari. Luckily though I had a big think about it and I worked it all out.
Liam Neeson added:
Women are very complicated creatures. Some would say they’re deadlier than the male. But statistics actually prove that isn’t the case. It’s a myth.
What qualifies you to solve women?
LN: I have a particular set of skills.
AB: I was good on 30 Rock. And I’ve played Donald Trump to huge acclaim.
But that isn’t…?
LN: I was Zeus for crying out loud. Of course I can do it. I commanded a battleship in that film… what was it?
LN: The A Team I think it was.
Is there a risk that a pair of privileged white men talking about this issue lack authority?
LN: You have to ask why are we privileged?
AB: Maybe we know something you don’t know.
LN: I, for instance, have a particular set of skills.
You keep saying that. But aren’t you worried people will think you are condescending? Maybe even misogynistic?
AB: How can I be misogynistic? I love women.
LN: When my daughter — DAUGHTER — was kidnapped, I not only found her, I killed about thirty guys. Then my wife and daughter – both of them women, you’ll note – got kidnapped again, I killed about thirty. I must admit the third time they tried to kidnap my wife I was thinking, how come the silly bitch keeps getting kidnapped? But I still avenged her death, with more violence.
Commuter is in cinemas. I don’t know what Alec Baldwin is doing.