SOLO A STAR WARS STORY – REVIEW

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY: REVIEW – The new Star Wars movie hits theatres.

The new Star Wars movie – Solo: A Star Wars Story – is in theaters, starring Emilia Clarke, Alden Ehrenreich, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover and we ask: is it any good?

Nope.

 

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HAN SOLO TO APPEAR IN LANDO MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – The trailer for Lando: A Star Wars Story dropped during the NFL Super Bowl and it featured a surprise.

The new Star Wars Story – featuring Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian – just dropped its first teaser trailer and there was a surprise for fans. A brief appearance of Han Solo.  Don’t get too excited it wasn’t Harrison Ford. But rather Alden Ehrenreich. The film is directed by the team who brought you Cloudy with Meatballs and The Lego Movie Far and Away and The DaVinci Code and tells the story of how Childish Gambino became the most legendary smuggler and gambler in the galaxy.

The film also stars Daenerys Targaryen and Woody from Cheers. The appearance of a slightly younger Han Solo than the Han Solo that appears in New Hope sparked speculation that there might be a stand alone Solo Story in the offing.  A rumor that Kathleen Kennedy quickly snuffed.

There will be no stand alone Han Solo movie. Everyone knows that Han Solo is a side show to the more interesting stuff about Skywalkers and Jedis. Plus there’s no actor who could sustain a full length movie playing the iconic role which Harrison Ford created.

Lando: A Star Wars Story will be released in the Summer.

HAN SOLO EMAILS LEAKED ON-LINE

HOLLYWOOD – A slew of emails from the troubled production of stand alone Star Wars film Han Solo have appeared on the internet.

Emails between Lawrence Kasdan and Kathleen Kennedy and Phil Lord and Chris Miller have leaked online. Here are some selected moments of what proved to be a troubled production.

Hi Fellas!

How is everything going with the shoot? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is AWESOME.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Boys!

Just some notes on the rushes from the shoot so far. Me and Lawrence got to see them and we want to say on the whole it looks like you’re doing a great job. We do have one or two concerns. I’ve listed them below. 

First off: Do we need the songs? I’m asking myself. 

Secondly: Alden Ehrenreich’s performance is a bit LEGO-y. Is that a fake head?

Then: Having Lando and Han take a psychotropic drug during which Lando gets the idea for Cloud City isn’t consistent with how that happens in the canon. 

Finally: Can we also not have Chewbacca be quite so stoned quite so often? 

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, Hi Lawrence,

Everything is great (when you’re part of a team)

……………………………………………………..

Yeah about that. We’re thinking that Alden might need some help with his performance. Tell him not to worry about it. We just want someone onset who will contradict everything you tell him.

……………………………………………………..

Hi Kathleen, HI Lawrence,

We’re getting vibes from you guys that the weather isn’t exactly peachy. It feels Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, if we’re to be honest!

……………………………………………………..

Yeah, Fellas!

Enough of the referencing your films in ever single email. You remember when we said we wanted your individual vision and how important it was to us to hear your voices in the movie? Remember how we said we wanted to give you total creative freedom? Well, that was all bullshit. Turns out what we really want you to do is stick to the script and quit with the postmodernism. As in pronto!

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

HENRY WINKLER REPLACES ALDEN EHRENREICH AS HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Ron Howard’s new Han Solo movie got its first shot today and revealed a new star.

Speculation was rife today about how Ron Howard would change the direction of the stand alone Star Wars movie: Han Solo. Well, following the release of the first image, it looks as if his take is going to be radically different from the rest of the franchise. A digitally de-aged Henry Winkler takes over from Alden Ehrenreich in the starring role. Ron Howard spoke to the Studio Exec about the new film:

Set on the planet of Milwaukee, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, our film starts with the Cunninghams, a race of sedate play it safe aliens who rent out their attic to Han Solo, a young pilot, smuggler and all round cool guy, but things begin to go wrong. First of all the Cunninghams said no pets, but Solo has brought Chewbacca. Then Potzie and Ralph need advice about meeting girls and Han tells them… but wait, I’m spoiling it for you. The important thing is it is all very exciting and it ends well when Solo enters a waterskiing competition, but there’s a shark swimming nearby. I won’t say anymore.

Fans said unanimously:

It doesn’t matter if it’s a curl of poop with a flag saying Star Wars perched on a cocktail stick, we’d still go and see it.

When asked to comment Henry Winkler, said:

Sit on it!

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

 

HAN SOLO NEWS: CHRIS MILLER AND PHIL LORD WANTED TO GO ‘FULL LEGO’

HOLLYWOOD –   fire Chris Miller and Phil Lord from the stand alone Star Wars movie Han Solo because ‘they wanted to go full lego’.

The Studio Exec received the shocking news that comedy directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller have been fired from the Han Solo movie only weeks before filming wraps. According to sources close to the production the firing came after tensions between Kathleen Kennedy and Lawrence Kasdan built up with the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs duo. An insider told the Studio Exec:

At first everyone was on board with the direction that Phil and Chris were proposing. Kathleen hired them for their off the wall humor and their irreverence. But there was one major stumbling block that was never fully dealt with and that was what finally did for them. They wanted to do the whole film with lego.

You mean like an animated movie?

No, they were filming live action scenes. We went to Italy to film in the Dolomites. All over the place. But when the actors came on set they found these Lego versions of themselves. Chris told them to just voice the characters while Phil and Chris moved the Lego around.

Wow.

I know. At first we assumed they were doing pre-viz. You know that’s the thing now. But when the cast complained then Phil told wardrobe to basically make these huge Lego costumes. The guys run a fun set so we assumed it was a practical joke. But it went on all day and then the next. Kathleen was just fuming. She kept talking to Ron Howard all the time and she always had him on speaker phone so the guys and the crew could hear. She’d say things like ‘I could drop a rock on their heads while they’re sleeping’ and ‘twenty dollars buys me a guy called Luciano and no questions asked’. They began to get scared but they were unerring in their artistic vision. I’ll give them that.

The film stars Alden Ehrenreich in the role of the space smuggler, made famous by Harrison Ford. Donald Glover plays Lando Calrissian.

Han Solo will be released in 2018.

FIVE FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ALDEN EHRENREICH

HOLLYWOOD – Five Facts you never knew about the new Han Solo Alden Ehrenreich.

Everybody knows Alden Ehrenreich from… is going to be the new Han Solo, but what do we really know about him. We sent the Studio Exec FACT group to collect a bounty on his head from Jabba the FACT.

One. Alden Ehrenreich invented the typewriter.

Two. Although he brushes his teeth, Alden Ehrenreich refuses to floss, calling it ‘a con.’ The American Dental Association condemned the actor’s controversial flossing comments, saying he had gone ‘full-Carrey’.

Three. The young Ehrenreich has already impressed a series of hard-hitters in Hollywood, working for the Coen Brothers, as well as Woody Allen, Steven Spielberg and someone called Francis Ford Coppola.

Four. When Alden auditioned for the role of the young Han Solo  for directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, he won their respect by turning up to the studio dressed in Lego.

Five. For his role in Hail Caesar, Alden learned Latin. Wrongly.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

JOHN GOODMAN CONFIRMED AS HAN SOLO

HOLLYWOOD – Disney today confirmed that John Goodman would be taking on the iconic role of Han Solo in a stand alone Star Wars film to be directed by Chris Miller and Phil Lord of Lego Movie fame.

Roseanne Barr’s husband and Barton Fink’s next door neighbor John Goodman is to take over from Harrison Ford as everyone’s favorite smuggler, Han Solo, in a new stand alone Star Wars film. Despite rumors that Alden Ehrenreich of Hail Caesar! has been cast in the role, Disney today confirmed that they were going with Goodman. A source from within Disney spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We wanted to go in a different direction. We wanted people to say ‘John Goodman as Han Solo? huh!’ And I think we’ve already achieved that.

But isn’t John Goodman too old to play a young Han Solo?

We always saw Han as a mature character. Even when he’s young he has a certain gravitas and a certain heft. You watch John Goodman in 10 Cloverfield Lane or Matinee and you’ll know exactly why we hired him. He’s in practically ever decent Coen Brothers film that there is. There’s a reason for that.

John Goodman himself phoned later this evening to offer his thoughts on becoming the pilot of the Millennium Falcon.

To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t like Star Wars. I find it a childish fantasy and I particularly hate the way the young people are being sold this regurgitated nostalgia for a time that they never themselves experienced. It’s like your parents forcing you to listen to Pink Floyd under some misapprehension that it’s good.

So why are you doing it?

Well, I read the script and… money.

Han Solo: 12 Parsecs to Fame will be released in 2019.