McG DIRECTING HEAT 2

HOLLYWOOD – Several weeks ago Michael Mann announced he has co-written and will be publishing the sequel / prequel novel to his 90s smash hit crime thriller, Heat. Today Mann announced that Charlie’s Angels and Terminator: Salvation director, McG is directing Heat 2. With McG directing Heat 2, we caught up with the controversial director to talk about this surprise announcement.

So, McG Directing Heat 2. How Did You Get That Gig?

Honestly, I have no f**king idea. I was settled in directing shitty TV episodes of whatever, which suited me fine. Then from nowhere, Micky Mann calls me and Badda-bing! I got the gig. Go figure?

What Are Your Plans For Casting?

As I’m sure you know, the book follows Val Kilmer’s character Chris after the events from the original. It also tells the stories of Al’s and Bobby’s characters before we met them in Heat. I’m gonna stick with the same actors for continuity. Marty Scorsese perfected the de-ageing techniques in The Irishman, so I’m just gonna piggy-back on what he did. Easy.

Are You Sure About That? Not Everybody Was Convinced.

F**k them! If it’s good enough for Marty, it’s sure as shit good enough for me. I’m also casting Sam Worthington in it. Not sure who he’s gonna play yet. But I just think he’s one of the most compelling performers we have.

What Else Can You Tell Us About The Movie?

Where the first movie fell down was in the lack of action sequences. Yeah, it had a decent gun battle, but where was all the bullet time? Where were all the hunter-killer robots? That’s what the Heat universe needs. Hey, hang on just one goddam minute. That gives me an idea. We can make this not only a Heat sequel and prequel, but also a prequel to Terminator: Salvation. Sam can reprise his role of Robby The Robot, or whatever the f**k he was in that movie. Maybe we could even get Christian Bale back as John Connor. He had so much fun playing that role.

Are You Sure That Will Fit In With What’s Gone Before?

You have seen my work before, right? Do you think I give a shit about any of that? This is gonna be awesome, baby. YEAH!

Heat 2: Turn Up The Temperature Is Slated For A 2024 Release

AL PACINO REMOVED GLASSES SHOCK

Hollywood – The movie world is reeling today after Al Pacino removed glasses from his eyes upon the heartless instructions of blood thirsty journalists. The incident took place at the New York premiere of Ridley Scott’s latest film, House Of Gucci. Onlookers were stunned as Al Pacino removed glasses, complying with the vicious demands from baying journalists and photographers. Lady Gaga, who is starring alongside Pacino in the movie, tore into the photographers in a four letter-filled tirade of abuse.

Al Pacino Removed Glasses WTAF!

The nightmarish scene played out in full view of movie fans, A-listers and journalists alike. Cuddly Al, was wearing his customary cool shades, so photographers ordered him to remove them. Upon taking his glasses off, Lady Gaga who was with him on the red carpet, unleashed a foul-mouthed rebuke. ‘You put those fucking glasses back on your face Al. Hey you. Yeah, you. Who the fuck do you think this is? He’s Al Fucking Pacino you piece of shit. Why don’t you come up here and let’s go a few rounds. Bafangu, you lousy mook.’

Lady GrrGrr

Lady GaGa then leaped from the red carpeted stage into the crowd of photographers, throwing kicks and punches indiscriminately while shouting, ‘Who wants it? Have it, you pieces of shit.’ Then a group of well-rehearsed publicists pulled her out of the melee. Meanwhile another group of well-rehearsed publicists distributed cash amongst the injured and bleeding paparazzi.

Oh Shit, It’s Jared Leto

Those close by swore they could hear Al Pacino say upon removing his glasses, ‘Wait a minute, is that Jared Leto? Because I thought they said Jay Leno. Was I just in a picture with that wrong’un?’ Then he put his glasses back on and spent the entire premiere sat at the back of the theatre with his arms folded. Those nearby could hear him muttering about his ‘fucking agent’ and ‘Joe Pesci’s got the right fucking idea’.

House Of Gucci Is Now On General Release

MICHAEL MANN PLOTS HEAT PREQUEL

HOLLYWOOD – Director Michael Mann talks about his plans for a prequel to his masterpiece Heat.

A Heat Prequel has been a dream for many years. But now it looks like it might actually become a reality. We caught up with Michael Mann on his return from Tokyo where he’d been shooting Tokyo Vice.

Hey Mike so this Heat Prequel is really going to happen.

Don’t call me Mike, asshole. And yeah. I’m really excited about it. Obviously when i work on a film I prefer to concentrate on what I’m doing. But having to stop in the middle of the production one of the only benefits is that it does give you an opportunity to take a look at your career. You sort out your priorities. And so the question of Heat came up once more and I said, why not?

That’s great Mikey. So as a prequel do you have any ideas on casting?

Did you just f*ckin’ call me Mikey? Call me Michael. Have some goddamn respect.

Okay. But casting?

Well, I’m using Robert de Niro to play the Robert de Niro role and Al Pacino to play the Al Pacino role. It’s really that simple.

But M&M, surely if this is a prequel they’ll be too old for those roles. 

That’s what we thought as well and then I saw what marty did in The Irishman and I’ve always been passionate about using digital technology to ruin perfectly good movies – did you see Public Enemies? – so I guessed why not do it again. We’ll deage them both and they’ll be perfect. The only problem is trying to get a story that can involve them, but they won’t meet. They have to meet in that very first encounter in the diner otherwise it doesn’t make sense. Did you call me M&M?

Like Michael Mann. M&M.

That doesn’t even make sense. It sounds like Eminem.

So Manfred, will the rest of the cast remain the same?

What’s so f*ckin difficult about calling me Michael?

The cast Mickey, Mikey, Michelangelo, Mr M. The Mann Show, Mannequin, The Mann from UNCLE?

Yes. No I mean. Yes for some of them. We want to get Tom Sizemore back and we tested him with the deaging and it looks okay. But Val Kilmer… we tried but smoke came out of the machine and something went pop!

You da Mann. 

Okay, I’m f*ckin out here!

 The Heat Prequel will begin filming in 2021.

FIRST LOOK AT AARON ECKHART AND RAY LIOTTA IN ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD – Aaron Eckhart and Ray Liotta feature in the first official image from Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

The first image from the new Quentin Tarantino film – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – hit the internets and comment is rife. The film set in the late sixties stars Ray Liotta and Aaron Eckhart as infamous LA detectives Freebie (Eckhart) and the Bean (Liotta), who are tasked with solving the Charlie Manson murders. Quentin Tarantino stumbled into the Studio Exec bungalow late last night stoned out of his gourd and commenced a-blabbering. So we turned the recorder on.

It’s really basic. During the 60s everything went crazy. You could ask an actress to drive down a dangerous road, no one gave a shit. In fact they thought you were a genius. Ask William Friedkin. They didn’t know they had it so good though. And along came Charlie.

How did you get Liotta to look so young?

I loved Ray in Goodfellas and though you should never really say this to an actor, I said to him: I want young Ray. He went off to Santa Monica and drank nothing but carrot juice for a month. They call it the Eastwood diet. It worked so well I got Eckhart to do it as well. Pacino couldn’t make it. He has a carrot allergy.

What made you think of these guys?

First, I wanted Brad Pitt and Leonardo di Caprio, but then I realized those bozos aren’t gonna cut the mustard. I need real pros. And Liotta and Eckhart are like fine wine. Pitt and Di Caprio are Mountain Dew. You get my meaning.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is out 2020.

FIRST IMAGE OF AL PACINO IN TARANTINO’S ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – Quentin Tarantino’s new film – gets a new star with Al Pacino.

The first image of Al Pacino in Quentin Tarantino’s new film Once Upon a Time in Hollywood hit the internet today. Reaction was instantaneous. Twitter exploded, then Instagram and finally the grandparents on Facebook weighed in. As for the trades, Screen International said that the picture was proof that Pacino was back to his prime. ‘That’s taken from the TV movie Paterno,’ said Hollywood Reporter.

Variety wrote:

That’s not from the film. That looks like his version of Phil Spector. He did the film with Helen Mirren. I don’t think it has anything to do with the new Tarantino movie.

Tarantino’s new film stars Leonardo di Caprio, Brad Pitt, Michael Madsen, Kurt Russell and Kevin James. Set around the time of the Charles Manson murders, the film follows a wannabe TV actor and his stuntman as violent paranoia settles over the Hollywood hills. Reportedly, Tarantino has finished his first draft in crayon and will be doing another pass to color in the margins. But first he has to get it back from Harvey Weinstein. He told the Studio Exec earlier today:

By force of habit, I sent it straight to Harvey and now I have to get it back. Uma says she wants to read it. I hope she’s careful with it because I only have one copy and I’d hate if anything was to happen to it.

Pacino has gone deep method and will soon be arrested as a result.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is out in 2019.

AL PACINO ALLERGIC TO SANDWICHES

HOLLYWOOD – Al Pacino has been told to not eat sandwiches anymore because of an allergy.

Doctors ordered Godfather and Scarface star Al Pacino to stop eating sandwiches. The Serpico star phoned Studio Exec early this morning.

I don’t know what to say Pal. I talked to the doc and he said Al you gotta lay off the sandwiches.

All sandwiches?

All sandwiches.

Why?

My health. I have a rare sandwich allergy.

What like an allergy to the bread or something?

No I can eat bread.

So the butter?

No. I don’t use butter anyway.

So it’s like specific ingredients. Like Pastrami or something?

You’re not listening Exec. They said knock off the sandwiches. All of them. I can eat tomatoes and lettuce and bacon and bread, but if you put them together into a recognisable sandwich, I swell up and start choking.

Jesus. 

I know.

Then you can just order a sandwich and like take it apart. Right?

I thought of that, but then I thought what’s the point? It’s too depressing. I’ll just have an omelette or something.

With fries.

Yeah. I like fries. And ketchup.

And cheesecake afterwards. 

Now we’re cooking.

Al Pacino will be appearing in Frankie and Johnny 2: the Salad Days.

 

 

DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON TO PLAY JAMIE VARDY IN LEICESTER MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – It’s the role every actor has been going for – soccer legend Jamie Vardy, star of the Leicester Soccer Club – is to be played by BayWatch star Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson.

Following their recent success in the English soccer cup Premier League, Leicester Soccer club are to have a film made of their extraordinary season. Justin Linn is to direct and Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson is to star as Jamie Vardy with Al Pacino playing Claudio Ranieri.

Speaking from Venice Beach, Dwayne Johnson spoke about his new role:

I’m thriller. Really excited. I love kick soccer and have been a huge fan Leicester kick soccer club ever since I was a child. To see them come from the bottom of the league last year and go on this run to win the title was truly marvellous. And to think I’ll be playing quarterback Jamie Vardy… It’s why we’re in the business, man.

Al Pacino has been shadowing Claudio Ranieri throughout the year as he began to prepare for the role. He spoke also with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY over the telephone.

Yes! I love it. This man, the passion. Italian. I mean… Yes! The passion, the theater of dreams, the King Power stadium. POWER. King! The words are poetry! The number of touchdowns that Leicester scored amazing. Claudio is so relaxed, such a gem of a man. He even let me manage the team a couple of times. Once against Liverpool. I’m afraid we lost that one, but no one knew it was me on the touchline. Hoooooo. And indeed Harrrr.

Champion: The Jamie Vardy Story will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

ELIJAH WOOD TO PLAY MARTIN SHKRELI IN ‘ASSHOLE’

HOLLYWOOD – Elijah Wood has signed on to play drugs executive Martin Shkreli in a new film directed by Brian dePalma and tentatively entitled Asshole.

Martin Shkreli first caused furore when his company bought the rights to a series of medicines and then overnight hiked the prices by huge amounts. In seeking to justify his actions he only made people hate him more and before a congressional hearing managed to achieve the almost impossible by making Congress look morally superior to something else in the room. Brian dePalma immediately announced his plans to make a film based on Martin Shkreli’s life:

It is going to be a thematic sequel to Scarface. This punk thinks that America is there for the taking and he starts after, without caring who he destroys or what. The only difference is that Al Pacino’s character had some sense of moral sincerity, even at his most heinous.

Casting proved difficult:

I needed an actor with the courage to confront the role. After all most stars don’t want to be aligned to some one this repugnant. Christian Bale had done American Psycho so I was keen on him reading the treatment, but he’s a bit too old for the role. But then someone showed me a tape of Elijah Wood in Maniac and I thought, if we can tone down the sympathy we feel for the murdering psychopath then I think Elijah would be perfect for the role.

Elijah Wood is currently in preparation for the role.

He’s on a strict regimen of being an asshole. He spends all his time reading Ayn Rand and listening to back to back audio books by Glenn Beck. Every morning he has a personal trainer come in and they go around New York burning $50 bills in front of homeless people and visiting hospices and cancer wards to laugh at the sick and the dying. Yesterday, he came round to my house and brought flowers and I was worried this guy is too nice, but I was later told he’d taken them of the grave of a child. So I tihnk we’re going to be fine.

Asshole will be released in 2017.

 

AL PACINO TO JOIN ROBERT DENIRO FOR DIRTY GRANDPA 2

HOLLYWOOD – Veteran Hollywood actor Al Pacino is to join Robert de Niro for Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas according to a statement issued today.

Al Pacino and Robert de Niro have teamed up in the past: the generational drama of The Godfather Part 2 and the diner confrontation in Heat being particular highlights. However, they are set to break box office records with their new comic pairing Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas.

Al Pacino popped into the Studio Exec Jacuzzi Spa last night to give us the gist:

Any chance I get to work with Bob, I take it. I’ve always admired his work and our careers have taken some might say parallel paths, only occasionally meeting.  When I saw Dirty Grandpa, I shouted ‘Whoa! Whoa! Hoo-har!’ because this was something I hadn’t seen for a while. Genuinely breaking new ground. People say Bob is sliding downhill, but it isn’t true, he’s looking around him at the culture and he’s making what he sees as the keystone of the culture. In the seventies that was Taxi Driver and Godfather Part 2, in the eighties it was Once Upon a Time in America and Raging Bull and now for the millennials he’s making Dirty Grandpa. If you don’t like it, don’t blame Bob. He’s just following the zeitgeist. As indeed am I.

Will you be joining him also in some David O. Russell films?

Please! Do I look absolutely desperate?

Zac Efron will also reprise his role as Jim, or Jason or whoever; and Dan Mazer will return to direct. John Phillips will once more be writing the ‘script’.

Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

HIDDEN GEMS: 3. THE GODFATHER

Hidden Gems is brings to light little known filmic gems and rarities that have somehow managed to slip through the collective cinematic consciousness. This week The Godfather. You’re welcome.

There have been some great films made about the Mafia. Analyze That, Oscar, Billy Bathgate. It’s impossible to measure the profound effect those classics have had on the genre but way back in the early 70s, a small time director called Francis Ford Coppola was living on stale bread dipped in week old pasta sauce and attempting to make the ultimate mobster movie.
As it turned out,  he accidentally ended up making the most expensive wedding video of all time but you can understand his decision to push the gangster stuff into the background. Brando turned up on set mumbling with his cheeks full of cotton wool after slicing his gums when he put a whole pie in his mouth and forgot to take it off the plate. Then they couldn’t get Redford or Nicholson to play the lead role of Michael so at the last minute Francis grabbed a random hippy called Al Pacino off the street, strategically shaved him and pushed the poor guy in front of a camera.
It’s difficult to find a review of the film online but after days of searching I found one reference in the Maryland Chronicle that describes Pacino’s performance as being like “A girl getting fingered for the first time in the back of her boyfriend’s Buick”. In hindsight that was a little unfair on Al but that one review knocked his confidence and he faded into obscurity. Rumour has it he’s now running a car rental business in the Bahamas.
Anyway, it’s well shot and the soundtrack is catchy enough. It would probably have worked better as a TV movie rather than a full-length feature and it’s a shame Coppola never got to make a sequel. If you’d like to buy a copy it’s only available on VHS but there’s a Facebook Campaign to get it released on DVD. The page only has 13 likes though so you might be waiting a while.

For more Hidden Gems CLICK HERE.

VENICE REPORT 3

VENICE – The festival moves on  and now everyone else is on their way to Toronto our man can spill the beans about the doings of the film folk.

A wise man (it was Al Pacino) once said to me you never know what’s going to happen next. Then he punched me in the face. So when I met Al again I felt I was prepared for anything. He’s on the Lido to promote two films: The Humbling and Manglehorn, one of which (and I’m not telling) is in competition for the Golden Lion.

Al’s one of the most relaxed superstars you can hope to meet. We met for a quick lunch in-between interview junkets and red carpet strolls.

‘So Al,’ I said easing into my subject. ‘Jack and Jill? What the f*ck?’

‘What can I say?’ said Al. ‘The money was good and Adam had kidnapped my kids until I signed on.’

‘Jesus that’s terrible.’

‘I know. I love my kids.’

‘No I wasn’t thinking about your kids, I was still thinking about Jack and Jill.’

‘Oh come on,’ says Al. ‘It wasn’t that bad.’

So I punched him in the face.

As security piled onto me, the last thing I saw was Al holding his bleeding nose, but I swear to God, there was a devilish twinkle of admiration in his eye.

WES ANDERSON TAKES SERPICO TO BROADWAY

NEW YORK – Wes Anderson’s long gestated stage version of the Seventies classic Serpico will debut on Broadway this Fall.  The 1973 Sidney Lumet film starred Al Pacino as the titular cop who stands up to the corruption of his colleagues.

Wes Anderson first wrote a draft of a stage version when preparing his breakthrough movie Rushmore in 1997. The lead character Max, played by Jason Schwartzman, produces a version of the film for his school play.

Continue reading “WES ANDERSON TAKES SERPICO TO BROADWAY”

BANJO REVIEW: THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE

The world’s premier primate movie critic, Banjo classic review of The Devil’s Advocate.
Weird Al Pacino play blind man who want to spend time rubbing his jumbo on ladies. He always getting in trouble for rubbing his jumbo so he get his son called Constantine to be a lawyer and get him out of troubles. Constantine have mental problems and see dead people.  Gabriel Byrne plays Kaiser Soze which he play in Arnold muscle-man film called At The End of the Days but he play it again in this film and he hire Constantine to go and find a ‘Pelican’s Briefcase'(?) Constantine’s sister played by Charlie Theremin has a Pelican’s Briefcase and when he go to her house to find it he has hump hump with her and Weird Al Pacino watches them and does a dance even though he is supposed to be a blind man. They all have a hump hump and then Kaiser Soze is in bed too and he is Constantine’s brother too and Weird Al is laughing and laughing and then he get a gun and shoot them all. 
 
At the end Weird Al look right at the camera and a voice ask him, ‘what your act called?’ And he say ‘The Advocates’ and he wink.
 
Banjo pretty sure this film a piece of shit.

NICK NOLTE IN LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE

HOLMEFIRTH – Last of the Summer Wine news keeps on coming following the teaser posters for Robert Redford’s new film, issued last week. The latest shows the legendary Nick Nolte in the role of Norman Clegg, a part made famous by Peter Sallis in the original Roy Clarke BBC sitcom.

Nolte – a notoriously difficult actor – was almost kicked off the film when he repeatedly punched Robert Redford during their scenes together. An insider on set told the Studio Exec exclusively:

He said that it was all part of his method but in actual fact Nolte kept laughing every time he did and kept muttering something about hating Downhill Racer. It turned out Nolte had wanted to do a film called Slalom, but the release of Redford’s skiing movie essentially torpedoed Nolte’s project.

Last of the Summer Wine will be released in 2015.