GODZILLA VS KONG VS GODZOOKY IN THE WORKS

HOLLYWOOD – Godzilla vs Kong vs Godzooky set up as the next monster mashup.

The trailer for Godzilla vs Kong hit the internet last week and generally impressed with its promise of city wide devastation. Director Adam Wingard is brimming with confidence to such an extent that he’s already talking follow up.

It seems the right way to go. We built this up really well. We had the two Godzilla movies and then Kong Skull Island. And now we bring all that set up into this movie and we double it, square it. Whatever we do, there’s gonna be  a lot more. Which then begs the question: okay but what next? You can’t just add elements randomly. It’s got to grow and mature and reach out to new audiences.

So what are you going to do?

We’ve got Godzooky lined up for the next film.

Godzooky? Like the irritating flying twat from the cartoon?

Yes, the really cool, kids and adults love him wisecracking nephew of Godzilla. He can summon his Uncle and more importantly he can work as an intermediary between the world of the humans and the Big Green one.

But he’s shit.    Godzooky

Absolutely. He also adds an arc, a layer of complexity. The young Godzooky is playful, but in the end needs to choose whether he’s a Kaiju or wants to live in the world of his human friends. We’re also going to get some new cast members. One who served as a surrogate father for Godzooky.

Oh good. Who?

Mark Wahlberg.

Mark Wahlberg? He’s fucking shit. 

Yes! We’re as excited as you are. Mark is a double threat because he can play comedy in the scenes with Godzooky and he can stand around looking up with his mouth open in a look of slack faced stupidity. he ticks all our boxes.

Godzilla vs Kong vz Godzooky hits cinemas in 2027.

NEW BLAIR WITCH FILM LOOKS TERRIFYING

HOLLYWOOD – The new Blair Witch Project movie dropped its first image on the internet today and it looks terrifying.

The Blair Witch Project seems to have legs, spawning a sequel and a recent reboot. Director Adam Wingard had this to say:

The next movie in the saga will combine the usual in the woods hocus-pocus and witchcraft with Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho. First we looked at how the first film was received. We knew it was good, but it needed a new direction. So we started to look around for a new contemporary angle. We have a very famous cast member who is going to play the Blair Witch Psycho. I believe many will find it a genuinely terrifying experience.

The Blair Witch Psycho Project will be released in 2018.

NEW BLAIR WITCH FILM IS FOUND VIDEO OF OLD BLAIR WITCH FILM

HOLLYWOOD – Critic claims that the remake of The Blair Witch Project, released this week, is actually just the same film as The Blair Witch Project.

Remakes, reboots, prequels and sequels are all the rage but none have gone as far as the new version of The Blair Witch Project, entitled Blair Witch, which is essentially the original film according to cinema expert Burt Gubbins.

Burt spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

The Blair Witch Project is widely known as one of the best examples of the found footage film. That is it purports not to be fictional but to simply be the film that someone has found documenting a real event. The new film directed by Adam Wingard keeps up the pretext by simply finding the footage of the original film on DVD projecting it onto a wall and filming it.

So there’s no new cast or anything like that?

Not at all. But what Wingard has created is a fascinating meta-film that goes even further than Gus van Sant’s shot for shot remake of Psycho in adding nothing original to the world.

Amazing. But Wingard obviously denies this?

Yes, he does. And that’s what makes the whole affair even more fascinating. His iMDB page, the publicity materials, interviews and all the paraphernalia insist that this is a new film, but aficionados like me can tell the difference by snoozing in front of the movie and seeing if when they wake up they feel happy or sad.

Blair Witch is in theaters.