ADAM SANDLER TO REMAKE THE BIRTH OF A NATION

Hollywood – Despite recent setbacks with his upcoming western Ridiculous 6, Adam Sandler has confirmed that his next movie for Netflix with be a remake of D.W. Griffith’s epic Klu Klux Klan picture, The Birth of a Nation.

“Adam doesn’t want a repeat of the unfortunate incident with the native american actors”, said David Spade.

So his new policy is to only hire white actors so there is no chance of him offending any ethnic minority. It’s much harder to piss all over the proud history and cultural identity of white people because, well, they don’t have any. We basically spent a thousand years or so wiping out other races with either war, disease or religion and as for cultural identity, the only thing white people have in common is a high risk of skin cancer.

Spade went on to talk about the logistics of making such a mammoth movie:

We’ve hired 500 hundred white horses, some of which we spray painted black or brown to make the scenes more realistic and we’ve also hired 3000 extras, some of which we spray painted black or brown to make the scenes more realistic. I’ll make no bones about it, this film is brutal but we are not glorifying the violence committed by the Klan on african americans and no african american has the right to be offended because it’s white people, pretending to be black. To put it simply, no person of colour will be harmed during the making of this picture.

It’s rumoured that Sandler’s next project after ‘Birth of  a Nation’ is a remake of ‘A League of Their Own’ starring and all-male cast but Spade dismissed the gossip:

We’re going to be making a comedy based on ‘Schindler’s List’. Granted, it’s a difficult subject to tackle but we think we’ve got around causing any controversy by having no people of Jewish origin in the cast, just Chinese actors and maybe a few Arabs.

Birth of a Nation is due for release in 2016