HOLLYWOOD – All major new channels have been accused of faking Black Friday footage of shoppers going crazy and fighting with each other in what is being called ‘a planned conspiracy to make the human race feel miserable about itself and buy more stuff’.
ABC, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and other outlets apparently filmed the Black Friday footage in June using actors from the AMC series The Walking Dead as well as CGI to increase the numbers.
Media analyst Bethany Stokes told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
If you look at the footage you will see the same faces as we saw in the last few episodes of The Walking Dead. Some of them still have the zombie make up on. We know that this never actually happened because no one has actually met anyone who was involved. The only examples of this happening have been copycats, who saw the footage and believed that they needed to behave in this way as well. This is learned behavior. And then the media will film that footage as well and interweave the two.
But to what purpose? Why would these media outlets do such a thing?
People are generally happy. They realise they are lucky to be alive and to be relatively wealthy. Most people have everything they need. So the media needs to persuade people to go out and shop but not just shop; shop as if it is a part of The Hunger Games. When buying a television becomes imbued with survivalist fervor just because you save some dollars you might be more inclined to do so, even though you ahve a perfectly good television that you only bought last year at home. Plus people who are not going to be moved to copy the behavior – liberals, moralists and the like -will become so depressed they will rush out and buy Ken Loach DVDs and Noam Chomsky books to cheer themselves up. Either way the cash register is working overtime.
ABC, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News were unavailable for comment.
NEW YORK – Following revelations that NBC’s Brian Williams Iraq story was mis-remembered, the veracity of other reports by the veteran reporter including his award winning Narnia coverage have been called into question.
Xampard Brunt media watcher and expert spoke to the Studio Exec about the scandal which is already being called Narnia-gate:
Brian Williams’ coverage of Narnia and specifically his war coverage that saw the defeat of the Ice Queen by Aslan and his assembled armies was both award-winning and compelling television in the finest tradition of Edward Murrow, but it is now becoming evident that not only was Brian Williams not involved in the centaur fire fight with Mr. Tumnus as his first hand account suggested, but that he might not even have been in Narnia during the war.
But surely Narnia is a fictional realm full of magical creatures and written by the Christian fabulist C.S. Lewis.
And your point is?
That it doesn’t really… well… exist.
That would explain many of the holes in Mr. Williams’ story and the reason ABC have been unable to get a reporter there. Fox News however has Oliver North stationed in Narnia permanently. It all begins to make sense.
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SEATTLE – Television viewers were shocked, stunned and amazed this week by the news that ABC medical drama Grey’s Anatomy hadn’t finished years ago.
Rumours had been circulating about the continued existence of the Seattle based series created by Shonda Rhymes, but it was only when actress Sandra Oh revealed that she was leaving the show that many realized the rumours were true and the show was still on somewhere.
“Didn’t that show become Private Practice?” Variety TV critic Brian Lowry exclaimed. “I thought it finished like in 2011!”
A baffled ABC executive confirmed that the show was currently embarking on its tenth season: “I think,” he said, checking a clipboard.
The show that launched the career of Patrick Dempsey and Katherine Heigl will have to struggle on without Sandra Oh, who decided to leave after a heartfelt period of introspection ‘because I would get more exposure delivering pizza. Seriously.’
Season 10 of Grey’s Anatomy will air in the Fall, 2013.