OSCARS CEREMONY TO BE DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT

HOLLYWOOD – Ridley Scott is to direct the Oscars ceremony on the 22nd of February, featuring an exclusively white cast.

A spokesperson for the academy said:

We decided to take the ceremony in a new direction this year. Political correctness went mad the last few shows. We had Lincoln freeing the slaves, Django shooting the slave owners and 12 Years a Slave, being all about slaves as well. For twelve years. But now we have a black president and all that racism has been effectively dealt with so it’s time to get back to rich white people, mainly men.

So you called Ridley?

Absolutely. We thought that we couldn’t just pretend Selma didn’t exist although we tried our best. He came up with the idea of replacing the black cast with Joel Edgerton and Aaron Paul.

Fantastic!

Isn’t it? And although people are complaining about diversity, I’d say to them that the show is going to be diverse anyway. Look at Boyhood. White little boy, white big boy, white teenager, white young fella. What could be more diverse? Oh, and American Sniper, white guy shoots brown guys. What could be more topical!? Birdman, white guy worries about being too rich and successful. The Imitation Game, white guy wins the war. The Theory of Everything, white guy solves all the problems in the universe, especially Black Holes (that’s not racist is it?)

I don’t know.

Oh and my favorite. Whiplash. Two guys get incredibly pissy about perfecting jazz. And they’re basically white! That’s the twist.

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RIDLEY SCOTT’S EXODUS SLAMMED BY BOB MARLEY’S FAMILY

 HOLLYWOOD – An early screening of Ridley Scott‘s new film Exodus: Gods and Kings has created a strongly negative reaction from the late Bob Marley’s family.

Continue reading “RIDLEY SCOTT’S EXODUS SLAMMED BY BOB MARLEY’S FAMILY”

BREAKING BAD SPIN OFF: HEY JESSE ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – AMC announced today that Breaking Bad hero Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) is getting his own spin off show with Hey Jesse!

The news comes almost a year on from the finale of the ground-breaking meth lab dramedy that has already spawned a yet to be aired spin off Better Call Saul starring Bob Odenkirk as the eponymous lawyer. Aaron Paul explained the new show:

A lot of people, myself included, think that Jesse got a pretty raw deal on Breaking Bad [Spoilers ahead – Exec]. He suffered beatings, manipulation, abuse and the loss of everyone he loved. And in return he got to drive into a fence, probably straight into the oncoming cop cars. So I talked to Vince Gilligan and we worked something out.

Details are hazy but show-runner, Gilligan spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec and dropped some hints:

It is going to be a lot lighter. We really want to pay back Jesse for all the terrible things he had to go through. So he moves to New York and he becomes a male nanny to these kids of a famous film director and his actress wife. Anyway Jesse just has loads of great times with these kids and finds a kind of surrogate family. He’s lauded and celebrated and surrounded by people who love him and value him.

Great.

Oh and he succumbs to his old drug dealing ways and everyone finds out and he has to kill one of the kids to cover up and then the Nazis, Uncle Jack’s relatives, they turn up. And anyway I don’t want to give away the end, so I think I’ve said enough.

Hey Jesse! will be broadcast this Fall on AMC. 

BREAKING BAD ALTERNATE ENDING 2

breaking bad












The second instalment of our Breaking Bad alternate ending series. Choose which one you prefer.


Breaking Bad Alternate Ending II

Having returned to his home with a machine gun, Walter White is met first by a disbelieving neighbour, but he is reckless and now at his wit’s end. He drives out to Uncle Jack’s hide out and works out a super clever plan about how to free Jesse, persuade Jesse to help him and kill Todd and the Nazis using a super clever poison bomb. Meanwhile at Marie’s house, Marie opens the door to find Hank! With the Nazis dead, Mike and Gustav Fring turn up and congratulate Walter. Walter can’t believe it but Hank and Marie also turn up as does Walt’s doctor from the first episode. 

‘You died of cancer,’ the doctor explains. ‘Cancer’s a deadly disease, not a plot device. It kills people without worrying about narrative logic, and it certainly doesn’t give you five seasons to get things done. No, you died surprisingly quickly.’
‘But then…’ says Walt, indicating the carnage around him and his family and Jesse.

‘All this has been a dream,’ the doctor says. ‘A kind of limbo.’
Jack Shepherd and his father turn up with Bobby Ewing, whose hair is still wet from the shower and they lead a now babbling Walt into Michael Langford’s Pearly Gates.

EMMYS FASHION RECAP

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec loves awards shows like the Emmys for one reason and one reason alone – booze. But apparently people are interested in fashion so here goes. 

Zooey Daschenal wore some clothes. Claire Danes looked delightful in clothes. Heidi Klum was daring in her choice of clothes. Zosie Mamet from Girlz stunned people by wearing clothes. Kerry Washington also wore clothes. But perhaps the talking point of the night was Kate Bosworth, who graced the red carpet in clothes. 

Holding up the team for the men were Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad who turned up wearing clothes but in a funny twist clothes that were different from the clothes they usually wear in Breaking Bad. Jeff Daniels also chose clothes.