MY FAVORITE FILM: MAGGIE SMITH

HOLLYWOOD – My Favorite Film gives actors and film makers a chance to talk about what they love at the cinema. Today, Maggie Smith. 

Although I do enjoy acting in films – you might have seen me in those wretched Harry Potter efforts or that pile of wiffle waffle The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – I much prefer to sit at home with a nice milky cup of tea, my pet moggy on my lap and a plate of ginger snap biscuits to hand and watch my favourite movie: A Serbian Film.

It came out in 2010 and caused quite the stir, with its scenes of sexual violence and torture, but the acting is exquisite and many of the jokes provoke what Brian Blessed used to call ‘belly laughs’. The story revolves around an out of work actor of adult entertainment – I know we lovies simply adore films that explore ‘the Craft’ – who is lured back to the world of red light cinema to make a film of simply hilarious brutality. 

Many seem shocked by A Serbian Film on its release and some even spoke of banning it, to which I say ‘piffle!’ If you’d shared a dressing room with Helen Mirren and Judi Dench – as I have -then you would think the scenes in the film depicted nothing stronger than a teddy bear’s picnic. The value of the film comes from its political anger at the present state of Serbia, and it also has lashings of gory fun!

Five Stars *****

PETER JACKSON CANCELS THE HOBBIT SEQUELS.

 WELLINGTON – After the underwhelming response to part one of The Hobbit Trilogy, Peter Jackson has confirmed to the Studio Exec that he is cancelling the remaining two parts with immediate effect.

We caught up with Jackson in his Wellington office to ask why he is abandoning the project.
 
Mr Jackson. Why have you decided to cease production on The Hobbit?
Oh it’s just so boring. I was about to film another bloody walking through the woods scene when I thought, ‘Sod this for a game of soldiers and I stopped all the cameras and sent everyone home.’
 
That sounds like a rash move. Surely you are under obligation to show people who saw the first film what happens next?
If they want to know what happens next then they can go down to the library and borrow the book. It’s only short, you could read it on the toilet in one sitting.
 
So why did you decide to make a trilogy. Why not condense it into one long feature?
 
That’s what I wanted to do but the studio decided it could triple the box office and after I pissed a load of money up the wall making The Lovely Bones, they had me by the balls.
 
So what’s changed. Surely you’ve signed a contract to produce three films?

I did and I have no doubt this is going to ruin me me both professionally and financially but if it’s a choice between that and spending another minute looking at Martin Freeman’s hamster face. I’d rather be broke and unemployable.

What about the next installment of the TinTin series. Aren’t you signed on to direct?
I was but the studio fired me. I hear Guy Richie is doing it now. TinTin and the Cockney Slags I believe it’s called.
 
And what next for you?
I’m going to sell everything I own and remake The Lovely Bones. I want to get it right this time.
 
Sounds like a bold move. How will it differ from your first attempt.
I’m going back to basics. This time I’m going to do it all on hand held camera with puppets and there will be a graphic 30 minute molestation and murder scene. It’s going to make A Serbian Filmlook like The Little Mermaid.
Exciting stuff. Thanks for the interview.