DANNY BOYLE DEVELOPING THE RUNNING DEAD FOR HBO

HOLLYWOOD – The Zombie Apocalypse is almost upon us but this time in a television war of Zombie dramas, with HBO going head to head with the AMC show The Walking Dead, an producing a Danny Boyle created rival entitled The Running Dead

A HBO exec spoke to Studio Exec on strict conditions of anonymity:

This show is not just a great big f*ck you to AMC [said Michael Lumbardo], it’s also going to be an exciting piece of boundary pushing television. But it is going to be a big f*ck you to AMC as well.

Danny Boyle said he was delighted at the opportunity to go back into the zombie world he’d created with 28 Days Later.

Me and Alex [Garland] made a breakthrough by making the zombies… well, less zombie-ish. The Walking Dead is okay, but the zombies are slow and people have to trip up or find themselves in an enclosed space. I’ve been talking to two sponsors – Nike and Red Bull – and we’re going to use that product placement as inspiration.   

Mr. Boyle was cagey about the details and nothing seems to have been decided in terms of casting though Ewan MacGregor has been rumored for the lead role. However Boyle reacted with a guffaw at the idea of re-teaming with the Shallow Grave and Trainspotting star.

‘We could cast Ewan’s post-me career as one of the undead,’ he chortled cruelly but truly. 

The Running Dead is due to air in the Fall of 2018. 

ZOMBIES TO BE KILLED OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Ever since Victor Helperin‘s 1932 film White Zombie, the undead have been limping and lurching, drooling and more recently raging across out cinema screens.

The cultish gore fest and satire of the George Romero films of the Seventies gave way to the mainstream shoot em ups of War World Z and The Walking Dead and so it is with some sadness – and relief – that studio executives announced today that they were definitively killing off the cult figure before there was a serious outbreak. 

A spokesperson for AMC pivotal in the making of Walking Dead commented:

We had tried by getting rid of Frank Darabont, but that wasn’t the head shot we’d assumed it would be and the damn seasons just kept staggering on, blood and pus-oozing from what ought to have been a fatal wound. We tried killing off the interesting characters but here we are again. Like half a body dragging its entrails spilling torso across the floor towards us.

 Danny Boyle – director of 28 Days Later – said he was not sorry to see the back of the horror sub-genre.

When we made 28 Days Later we were essentially trying to reinvent the zombie, speed it up and make the stories less contrived. However, the Rec films and World War Z have convinced me that even this injection of angry raging life has not been enough.

 Sociologist and film critic U’buto Menege wrote recently in the Huffington Post

Freud said that nightmares were fantasies that are too transgressive to admit. Our feelings of horror are actually just us acting out what we really want. The problem with the zombie scenario is that fantasy is actually all too obvious. The nightmare is no longer there. It’s pure fantasy. We dress up as zombies at the drop of a hat. Freud would shit himself laughing.

From 2014 no more Zombie films (or infection films) will go into production. The ones already in production will be taken out to the back lot by government agents in bright yellow chemical threat suits and buried by a bulldozer in a large communal pit.

The last Zombie film to be shown will be Martin Luther King Jr: Zombie Killer.