FACTLAND – Everybody who is anybody knows that Vince Vaughn is not funny but what other FACTS do we know. We put The Internship star’s credentials into the Studio Exec FACT-puter and this was the result.
1. Vince Vaughn was once in a good film. It was called Swingers, and launched his career along with that of his pal Jon Favreau. Since then they have released so much pure evil into the world that retrospectively Swingers has taken on a morbid infamy, like the year book portrait of a serial killer. Ironically, his funniest comedy is Psycho, directed by Gus Van Sant.
2. Prior to Swingers, however, the Vaughn-ster (as he prefers to be known) appeared in a series of TV shows, including 21 Jump Street and Doogie Howser MD. Vaughn aficionados who go by the name of Vaughn Stars (because it rhymes with…. never mind) say that in this early appearances there are clues to just how shit he was going to be.
3. Steven Spielberg tried to kill Vince Vaughn on the set of Jurassic Park: The Lost World by telling him the dinosaurs were only CGI when in fact they were real ones, especially shipped over from Japan.
4. People who say they like Vince Vaughn are actually lying.
5. The name Vince Vaughn is Latin for ‘Wins things without really trying or deserving victory’, which is also his personalized number plate.
HOLLYWOOD – As San Andreas hits the screens, the Studio Exec can proudly release this EXCLUSIVE first look at Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson in the new reboot Baywatch: the Movie.
Very little is known about the movie except that Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson plays CJ Parker, a young lifeguard who patrols the beaches of Los Angeles with a little red board on a string attached to the ankle.
‘The Rock’ Johnson spoke exclusively to the Studio Exec:
The thing is I’ve wanted to expand my range as an actor for quite a bit. I’m always this very masculine action guy, you know the Rock! Well, CJ gives me the opportunity to explore another side of my nature, a softer more sensitive side which I hope will also show audiences that there’s more to the Rock than testosterone. And I look great in red.
Justin Malen is on board to rewrite the ‘script’ and We’re the Millers team Jeremy Garelick and Peter Tolan are rumored to be directing.
Johnson (the Rock) continued:
I’ve had to do a lot of preparation,especially yoga and Pilates. But it’s going to be worth it when you see the film. Baywatch is going to be funny and self-aware and edgy, but it is also going to be sexy and kinky and sexy and occasionally brutally violent. Imagine 21 Jump Street but on a beach. No, I’m serious… imagine that! Are you imagining it? Okay? Now take Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill away. Right? Now add me. But with long blond hair. There you go. Now you see it.
It is understood that the David Hasselhoff role of Mitch Buchanon hasn’t been cast yet but both Ann Hathaway and Kirsten Dunst have expressed an interest.
Baywatch will be released in 2015.
(Image courtesy of @perspectivator)
HOLLYWOOD – New CHIPS movie starring Michael Pena and Dax Shepard is not the usual remake.
The Chips remake takes a revolutionary approach to the reboot of the 80s TV show. A spokesperson for the studio spoke to Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
Most remakes are deadly serious. They’re sincere attempts to recreate the original in exactly the way everybody remembers. We thought wouldn’t be a fun idea to remake Chips as a movie, but to do it with a wacky sense of humor because that has never been done before.
What about 21 Jump Street?
Not seen it.
And 22 Jump Street?
I wouldn’t see the sequel if I hadn’t seen the original.
And The Dukes of Hazzard and Starsky and Hutch?
Starsky and Hutch was a remake?
Of the 70s TV show starring David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser.
Okay. But Chips is going to be different.
Was Starsky and Hutch a comedy?
Okay it isn’t going to be different.
Chips will be released March 2017.
HOLLYWOOD – James Franco’s father reveals the secret of his youth.
The family resemblance is obvious but what many people don’t know is that Dave Franco is actually James Franco’s father! Dave Franco – who is also an actor starring in such films as 21 Jump Street and Nerve – spoke EXCLUSIVELY about his relationship with his son.
Many people think we’re brothers and I take that as a real compliment but the truth will out.
But you actually look younger than James.
I wouldn’t want to say anything about James’ lifestyle choices, not to the press anyhow. But all I can say for myself is lots of grapefruit juice and Pilates.
So that’s your secret?
It’s no secret, but that’s what I do.
And the acting is a family tradition.
I saw James do Spider-man 2 and I just thought, he’s great and it looks so easy. Why don’t you move over and let your old man take a shot? We have a rivalry and James will often retreat to his room sobbing. He was in there for weeks after Pineapple Express. But we also give each other advice and help each other out.
What does his mother think of all this?
She’s super-psyched. In fact she’s got into things too, but she’s using her maiden name. Including Spanish fascists, way too many Francos!
What’s her name?
But she’s really young. She can’t possibly be…
Now I can’t give away her secrets, but carrot juice and yoga.
Nerve is in theaters now.
HOLLYWOOD – At a special Studio Exec brunch, Jonah Hill the superstar of Get Him to the Greek and (more recently) The Wolf of Wall Street, gave a spirited defense of the new Martin Scorsese film, telling critics that they can ‘just f*ck off’.
The Superbad star went on to say:
I understand that people watch this film and see two handsome movie stars, me and Leo di Caprio, indulging in bad behavior and they make the leap that we are endorsing that behavior or encouraging people to imitate us. But people who say that can just lick my b*ll s*ck clean, because I’m sick of you sanctimonious assholes taking a dump on our movie when the media was partly complicit in covering up the excess that we belatedly uncover.
Jonah Hill then left the brunch stopping only briefly to eat an omelette with peppers and a couple of bruschettas. Representatives of the star were keen to point out that the Moneyball actor did not walk out but had to go cross town where Variety were holding another brunch and where Mr. Hill gave a watered down version of what he had previously told the shocked Studio Exec crowd, who numbered in the sevens.
The James Cameron helmed sequel The Wolves of Wall Streets is due to be released in 2015.
SALINAS – Scientologist and ‘star’ of Cheers, Look Who’s Talking 2 and Fat Actress, Kirstie Alley was honored today at a small civic ceremony in Salinas, California where a narrow road between a disused cinema and a 7-11 was dedicated to the comedienne.
An emotional Ms. Alley commented:
Is this some kind of joke? This is ridiculous. I was told I was being honored with the key of the town or something. You Goddam assholes! I’m gonna rip you all a new one. Get out of my way!
Stopping only to fire her PA and punch Salinas major, Joe Gunter in the crotch sack, Alley then leapt into her car and sped off, leaving the small crowd that had gathered to shrug and mutter about knowing that was going to happen and what are you going to expect.
The Kirstie Alley joins the town historic center which includes a 21 Jump Street and a Chinatown in honor of other Hollywood greats.