STUDIO USES TIME MACHINE FOR 2013 RELEASES
Studio Exec learned today that the heads of the major studios have been toying with forces more powerful than any man control, namely time travel. It was a almost midnight at the parking lot when the souped up Delorean was wheeled out. A script scout was given the thumbs up and off he went to somewhere int he mid-eighties. He would return what seemed like seconds later but for him had been little over a month and with him he had a script for Die Hard 5, starring Bruce Willis; a development deal for Bullet in the Head directed by Walter Hill and starring Sylvester Stallone; and even a movie about an old sheriff called The Last Stand, and ‘starring’ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
‘Admittedly, it’s an unconventional way of getting product,’ said one of the studio chiefs, sheepishly. ‘But do you know how hard it is to think of new ideas. I mean, it literally hurts.’
News comes after Disney CEO Bill Iger announced the studio’s intention of limiting creative ideas to an absolute minimum. ‘We chose JJJJ Abrams because we thought the less people involved in these films the better. We want everything to be the same and nothing to be truly original or decent.’
What do you think of the eighties revival? Ghostbusters 3 or a load of old Goonies? Feel free to leave comments.