STEVEN SPIELBERG: ALL MY MOVIES HAPPENED TO ME
MALIBU -In an EXCLUSIVE column, Steven Spielberg – director of Always and The Terminal – gives a unique insight into the workings of his brain pan and his film-making.
Hi, I’m Steven Spielberg and I make tight MovieFilms. You might have seen them on tapes and cinemas. What you don’t know is that all my MovieFilms are true stories and they all happened to me. No Sh*t!
This was a deeply personal autobiographical account of the time I spent working as a Chief of Police in a small seaside town in the early 70s. I changed some stuff at the suggestion of my friend George. I thought these changes seemed simply crazy! Too wild to even consider, but in retrospect it had the dual consequence of making me a shit-tonne of monies and helping to deflect from my being a suspect in the murder of some Islanders.
You see, in reality, it was a damn mystery who was killing those folks! After we found the first scantily clad teenage girl, dead and mangled on the beach, we assumed it was either a crime of passion or some kinky love-making ritual gone a bit askew (people get bored in small communities and try stuff, it happens). When the second girl turned up in a similar location with similar injuries the guys down the station got all excited and started talking about the possibility of us having an honest to heck serial killer. Thus the legend of Kinky Jack was born.
We were stumped, more bodies turned up, and not just hot teen girls in bikinis; kids, old sailors, even dogs! All dumped in or around the sea/beach type area. We questioned every saucy old seaman who ever crossed our path in those weeks but couldn’t get a grip on this damn case at all. Eventually I had to take some time.
I hooked up with a few buddies and decided to take a boat trip to clear my head. It was blissful at first; telling stories over a few whiskey shots, showing each other our bodies in the crisp moonlight…then one day…shit, it’s hard to talk about it even now. I woke up to find them both dead and mangled! One, chopped in half below the waist and the other floating in pieces in a weird little cage tied to the boat. Kinky Jack! He had struck again, but how? And why spare me?
It would sure look real funky; the chief of police turning up, covered in blood on a ghost boat claiming to have no idea who killed his shipmates. So I did what anyone would. I weighed down the remains of the bodies, chopped a hole in the side of the boat and swam home on a little yellow float. I told anyone who asked that my buddies just decided to go on a trip. Boom. Everyone bought it.
We never did find the killer and Kinky Jack seemed to have sated whatever deadly fetishes moved him so…no more bodies turned up and we all kind of left it. Bit of a relief really.
A few years later when I decided to get into Movifilms full time a pal said ‘write what you know’ so I decided to make all my MovieFilms about my own life…but, you know, I don’t want people asking any questions. Hence, Kinky Jack became a big ol’ rubber shark! How crazy does that sound? Well they bought it. You all bought it.
This was fun. I like sharing.
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