HOLLYWOOD – Today shock waves fractured the fragile calm that had reigned in Hollywood since the news of Josh Brolin’s arrest, when a metaphorical bombshell exploded unleashing a hailstorm of burning fact shrapnel through the innocent bus queue of Southern Californian film life: famed and celebrated British Shame and Hunger film director Steve McQueen ended months of speculation and admitted that he was not Steve McQueen, the long dead American film actor.
Film historian Mark McKicklely said that the revelation only came as a surprise to idiots:
He’s black, he the wrong age, he’s a different body shape, he’s British, but most importantly, he isn’t dead.
However, die hard McQueen fan, Donna Shack said that she was devastated:
We were hoping that he would return to acting and we could have had a whole bunch of sequels: The Great Escape 2, Papillion 2, The Magnificent Fourteen. Now that dream has gone. I feel like someone has literally ripped my heart from my chest.