HOLLYWOOD – Last night political commentator and Colbert Report presenter, Stephen Colbert finally gave in and admitted that he was a Nazi as has long been suspected.
In a statement issued via his agent Heinrich Stanz, Colbert said:
I am very relieved that I can finally come out of the shadows and say it. My thin disguise as an ironist can be dropped and I can proudly declare myself an adherent of the tenets of National Socialism as popularized by the late Adolf Hitler.
Cracks in the Colbert exterior began to appear earlier this week when a so called ‘ironic’ tweet called for an immediate ‘Helter Skelter Race War’ and the social media micro-blogging platform reacted with righteous indignation of the morally just. Producers at The Colbert Report attempted to play the incident down, but a photo of Mr. Colbert sporting a swastika tattoo and punching an immigrant was soon doing the rounds and it is this evidence which is thought to have caused the tired comedian to finally come clean
Whether or not I will be able to broadcast is still open to question. I would certainly like to especially now I can finally stop pretending that I like racial minorities, when I in fact hate them. If Comedy Central are comfortable with my new show concept Colbert Uber Alles I will be happy to talk to them otherwise I’ve had Fox phoning all morning.
All of the above was based on a Facebook link someone sent us and we haven’t checked it.