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Saturday 11 July 2020
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STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE RESHOOT NOTES LEAK ONLINE

STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE RESHOOT NOTES LEAK ONLINE

HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars Rogue One is to have reshoots this Summer and the Studio Exec has received a copy of the notes that are to guide the director and his crew.

The Studio Exec has received a copy of the production notes that were given by top Disney Executives to Gareth Edwards, the director of the first Star Wars spin off movie Rogue One, as he heads back onto location and to the studio for some reshoots. Here they are in full.

FAO: Gareth Edwards.

RE: RESHOOTS – “STAR WARS ROGUE ONE”                                             May 25th, 2016

MEMO following screening attended by DL & ST & RR. This document is to serve as a record of the ensuing conversation between Disney Execs and an initial guide for the reshoots. 

DL: First thing to do is obviously congratulate Gareth on the film. There are problems and more of these anon, but the film itself is a great piece of film making and something to be proud of. 

ST: Absolutely. 

RR: The problem is tone and fortunately this is something the reshoots should be able to redress without too much expense in money or time. So let’s get down to brass tacks. I think we need to lose the singing and dancing.

ST: Totally agree. The singing and dancing must go. I mean they’re great in themselves but they don’t really fit in with the overall thematic tone of the STAR WARS universe.

DL: We had the Cantina scene in NEW HOPE…

ST: Yeah, but that was like three minutes. Here we have seven separate song and dance routines, none of which are really moving the story forward.  

RR: I could live with the music if it was at least original, but they’re all songs from the 1980s and most of them are by Lionel Richie. 

DL: Hello, Dancing on the Ceiling…

RR: Sweet Dreams is by the Eurythmics I think.

ST: But the point is still valid. Where in the STAR WARS universe do the Eurythmics even exist? 

DL: But that leaves us with a fifty minute movie. So we’re going to need some filler. We’ve talked about having the Gungans turn up and do something else but I think we already got burned on that before so maybe we should avoid it. 

ST: Can we talk about the violence?

RR: It is too violent. Too gory. That scene in the torture cell with Mads Mikklesen. I wanted to go home and take a bath after I watched that. It was like something out of an Eli Roth film. I don’t know those Gungans are looking pretty good now.

ST: We really need young Han Solo.

DL: It doesn’t make any sense. Young Han Solo is literally a couple of weeks younger than the Han Solo we see in New Hope.

RR: Then it’s Gungans. It has to be Gungans.

ST: Gungans it is then.

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