HOLLYWOOD – News about the latest in the Star Trek franchise as Star Trek 2 gets a new title and synopsis.
‘First of all we’re not calling it Star Trek 2,’ said Abrams, throwing back a bottle of Cointreau. ‘It’s called Star Trek Into Darkness with Tribbles.’Fans have waited with baited breath for the follow up to J.J.J. Abrams’ wonderful 2009 Star Trek reboot, but only Studio Exec can reveal plot details after obtaining an exclusive interview with the vivacious bespectacled Super (8) geek himself.
Tribbles! That’s the best news since the test results came back!
‘We wanted a really iconic villain,’ says Abrams. ‘We have a great actor in Benedict Cumberbund…’
‘Cumberbatch,’ I interject.
‘Yeah. Whatever. And we thought lets bring back the tribbles. So we use motion capture and he plays them all basically. You should see him rolling around on the floor covered in balls. What an ass!’
The Tribbles news will send lashings of orgasmic fluid from Trekkies everywhere, drenching passers by. The small furry aliens featured in a much loved episode of the original series first broadcast in December, 1969. William Shatner’s Kirk was bemused by the little beasts, that threatened the safety of the Enterprise by basically reproducing too much. The goatish Kirk couldn’t help a smirk of frank admiration.
By now Adams was wringing the empty bottle of Cointreau to get out the last drops.
‘We thought what worked most about the first one was the humor and the Tribbles are really funny. I mean come on, look at them,’ Abrams points at the dailies and we have a moment of forced laughter. Abrams finds another bottle of Cointreau and bites through the glass of the bottle to get through to the orangey liqueur ‘Of course Zachery’s gone off and made Margin Call so he’s like all I worked with Kevin Spacey, I’m not working with Tribbles, so I’m like the fuck you aren’t. Anyway we’ve got Simon Pegg and he’ll do anything for geek juice.’
What about Chris Pine?
‘After This Means War he’s lucky I let him anywhere near a film set.’
Star Trek Into Darkness With Tribbles is due for release in 2013.