Hoffman Bale Method Acting

MEXICO CITY – Ladies and Gentlemen! The spectacle of the ages awaits! In this unsanitary arena, we bring you the ANYWEIGHTS of the acting world. The mighty METHOD MEN go head to head in the Stanislavski Take Down! The STDs will reveal who is willing to go furthest! Who’d rip out their mothers soul for a fondle of the cool golden body of Oscar! Who’ll be the last man  standing (on their mark)!?

Seconds out! Those little pieces of tissue paper around their collars off! There can be only one!

ROUND 1: Christian Bale VS Dustin Hoffman


Not content with living his life with a permanently askew and ever shifting mid-Atlantic accent, Bale does not piss around when it comes to nailing a role:

  • For American Psycho, Bale underwent various methods of brainwashing to remove any traces of human empathy from his soul. After each day of filming, the actor was ushered to a pristine white cell by bodyguards for fear that his bubbling blood lust erupt on set. While in his chamber of torment the actor did nothing but stare at a picture of Angela Lansbury while uttering the mantra ‘MURDER I WROTE!’ Truly chilling. 

  • For The Machinist, Christian Bale starved himself to death. On the third day, he rose again to haunt the screen in his maggot white husk. Rationing himself to a spoonful of John Belushi‘s ashes per day, the actor was barely of this world in the tense cinematic exploration of guilt and loneliness.  

  • We can skip over his forming a heroin habit to win an Oscar for The Fighter, and mention a far greater show of sheer dedication to the craft. For Christopher Nolan‘s seminal Dark Knight trilogy Bale single handedly took on the organised criminal underworld of Chicago, metaphorically breaking the backbone of the city’s drug trade over the course of an intensive 8 week build up to the filming of Batman Begins before – for The Dark Knight Rises having his own back literally broken by Method colleague Tom Hardy. His legacy is a city free of crime and a promise that should evil rise again, he will be there to kick it’s fucking ass and being unable to reach anything on a high shelf.


Dustin Hoffman may have been relatively quiet of late, but that’s partly due to his only now having to deal with the psychological trauma he inflicted on himself for his early roles.

  • For Marathon Man, the diminutive star put himself through the ringer. Not only did he allow Sir Laurence Olivier to perform live dental surgery on him in one infamous scene, but he also spent an entire year wearing nothing but shapeless grey jogging pants to better understand the physicality of an obsessive runner. Several fungal infections are known to have originated from these pants which are now, to this very day, under observation at a secret government location.
  • In Tootsie, well you know what’s coming… To play the part of a man pretending to be a woman to get ahead in a man’s world on TV (or something), Hoffman underwent a sex change and then back again every single night, to better understand the grey ambiguous zones that lie on the fringes of sexuality. Hoffman’s psyche is now forever fractured due to this experience, but damn that movie sure is charming! 
  • Finally for Hookwhich Hoffman considers his greatest work, the actor plays the role of a ‘heritage’ actor who is jobbing it in a tired and bullshit sequel to a story that no-one actually likes. It’s all very meta, and Hoffman never once breaks character as an actor hamming it up as a pantomime villain with just enough sadness and pathos behind the eyes that tell the real story of an industry and career slowly going to shit. It’s a masterclass in subtlety that many have tried to emulate but failed.

So! who is the METHOD MAN of round 1 of the STDs? You, dear reader, YOU DECIDE!  Vote in the poll in the top right corner. 

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