SPECTRE – REVIEW: Daniel Craig returns for what might be his final outing as 007 in an entertaining James Bond adventure.
James Bond is in Mexico and doing stuff and M says ‘What’s going on?’ and then a slimy political type from the last Mission Impossible film goes ‘I’m going to take over. You’re all complete bobbins’ and then Bond is suspended and then he goes off and does stuff on his own and it all connects to all the other films and Monica Bellucci is in black and goes ‘oh meester Bond’ and he goes ‘yeah’ and they do it and then there are car chases and there is Rome and then Austria and then Tangiers and Bond never flies Ryan Air and now he’s with that girl from Blue is the Warmest Color and she goes ‘touch me and I’ll kill you’ and he goes ‘okay’ but later he touches her and she doesn’t seem to mind, which is called character arc, and then there’s Christoph Waltz and he’s okay and he goes ‘back story back story unexpected (totally expected) revelation and boom goes Bond, several times.
Is Spectre the best Bond? No, but it is the most ordinary one and I liked that. It didn’t have the freshness of Casino Royale, or the weird production drama and scriptlessness of Quantum of Solace. Nor did it have the grandeur of Skyfall. It felt like an episode, but a good one and although it’s a long film with a bit of middle aged sag in the middle, I liked spending time with the character and his little alphabet soup of friends.