SHOCK NEWS: MIKE MYERS IS ALIVE

MONTREAL – Earlier this morning shocking news hit Hollywood: Canadian comedian and Wayne’s World creator Mike Myers was discovered alive in his home at an undisclosed Malibu location.

Mr. Myers had been missing, presumed dead after the release of Goldmember (2002), his third outing as parodic superspy Austin Powers.
It can now be revealed that Mr. Myers – who shot to fame as the smart part of the comic duo of Wayne’s World in which he started with … uhm – has actually been hiding in plain sight. His agent Dorothy Habermaserraus, speaking exclusively to Studio Exec, said:

Mike’s been doing the voice of popular ogre Shrek. Well, I say popular, he started well, but that motherfucker is a dried up jolly green husk now.  

It was also revealed that Myers – toying with those who had mourned his disappearance for years – had also appeared in a Quentin Tarantino movie, Inglourious [Sic] Basterds [Sic].

Mr. Myers said that now he was alive once more he wanted to do something totally new. Austin Powers 4 is currently in pre-production as is Shrek 5,6 & 7.

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