LONDON – Reports are coming in that respected actor Jennifer Lawrence has been seen buying a sandwich in the Charing Cross area of the city. Lawrence, who was recently photographed wearing a pencil-skirt and crop- top, is said to have walked into a Marks & Spencer food outlet, browsed their extensive range of chilled goods, plucked a sandwich from the shelf and brazenly queued at the checkout to pay for it.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said eyewitness, Jackie Crabb:
I was in Marks & Spencer wondering if I should buy a small sushi or go crazy and get the large when Jennifer Lawrence appeared next to me. She seemed to know exactly what she wanted and grabbed a beef and mustard baguette but then a pastrami and gherkin on rye caught her eye. She seemed confused and began muttering to herself. This went on for about ten seconds until she put them both back and opted for an egg mayonnaise. I’ve never seen anything like it in all my living life!
Jack Coombs, who was behind Lawrence in the queue, was also gobsmacked:
She was waiting in front of me for a few minutes, just stood there bold as brass counting her change. She must have not have had enough because when she got to the checkout she paid by card. Then she just took her sandwich and walked out. I tell you, these actor types, they live in a different world!
The Studio Exec attempted to contact Lawrence regarding the incident and her agent, Rita Rock, issued this statement:
I can confirm that my client purchased lunch in the Charing Cross area of London around noon today. She apologises for any offence this may have caused and thoroughly regrets not buying the pastrami and gherkin.
Jennifer Lawrence will next be seen in Waitrose.