SCRIPT LEAK:CHE PART THREE – RED DAWN OF THE DEAD


INT. THE OVAL OFFICE
The President sits at a briefing. 

CHIEF OF STAFF

The problem Mr President is Cuba. We’ve been seeing some unusual activity. 

PRESIDENT

But this is an election year. I can’t risk….

A secret service man rushes into the room.


AGENT

We have a breach Mr. President. 

PRESIDENT

Where? In the White House?

AGENT

Yes sir, we have to get you to a secure location.

They Exit.

INT. PRESIDENTIAL BUNKER
It is dusty and full of old bricabrac. 

CHIEF OF STAFF

I wonder what’s going on up there. 

PRESIDENT

Terrorists I suspect. I haven’t been down here for years. Look at this old stuff. We got the plans for Star Wars. Bill Clinton’s magazine collection. Hey, Dick Cheney’s heart!

The President uncovers a coffin. 

PRESIDENT

What the hell’s this? 

CHIEF OF STAFF

That’s Guevara, Che Guevara. Lyndon Johnson had his body flown in from Bolivia after the Agency iced him. 

PRESIDENT

Let’s have a look. 

They open the coffin. The corpse is recognisable from a thousand student posters. 

PRESIDENT 

Not so much the t-shirt pretty boy now, huh?

But Guevara rears out of the coffin and bites the President’s throat.

GUEVARA
(Chewing on the President’s face) 

Mmmnmmaao. The proletariat must seize the modes of production or forever be at the beck of the imperialists. Burrrghhha.

CHIEF OF STAFF

Get back! Get back you fiend. 

GUEVARA attacks and eviscerates the Chief of Staff. 

GUEVARA 
(snaffling intestine)

MMMNNNnNNmmm. One has to grow hard without ever losing tenderness. Yraagh.

FIN

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