Int:Renton is whistling merrily and making a salad in the kitchen of his respectable London flat. The door bell rings, it’s Begbie.

Afternoon Sir. Lovely day isn’t it?
F*ck you yer f*cking c*nt. Ave you got any f*cking heroin?
I’m a 43 year old charted accountant living in Fulham, Begbie. Where, pray tell, would I purchase heroin from?
Aw f*cking come on Rents. Just a wee f*cking hit.
Bad day?
Ack it’s been a right c*nt of a day. Two lads in my class failed their f*cking Maths exam and that c*nt of a headmaster got all up in my face telling me I’ve got to give them extra f*cking tuition after school.
Sounds like a ghastly business. I’m surprised you didn’t attack him.
Aye I wanted to chin the c*nt but since I’ve been going to those f*cking anger management classes I’m a reformed f*cking character.
Indeed you are. Now do you want to eat now, or after our Yoga class?
F*cking after you slow c*nt. There’s no f*cking way I can get myself into the Ustrasana position with a full f*cking stomach.
Fine then let’s go. By the way, can you still make it to the Chekov play at the Donmar on Friday night? Sick Boy has already bought the tickets.
Aw f*ck me! I f*cking forgot. Which f*cking play is it?
The Seagull
Ack. Aye all f*cking right but if it was that c*nt Uncle Vanya I’d have told you to go f*cking f*ck yourself.

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    1. “No way would I poison my body with that shite, all they fucking chemicals, no fucking way!” – Begbie

      Before you wrote that… Did you were glassed?

  1. have you even seen the ending of trainspotting? Renton stole the money from Begbie and the rest of them, why would Begbie then go to him for heroin?

  2. begbie in school??? yoga class??? what planet are you on? try a scene with renton on the run and begbie on a rage to chop off his nuts.

  3. I don’t know if anybody else actually bothered to notice the sarcasm in this opening scene, but those of you who are saying this is stupid and untrue to the original, of course it is, it’s just a piss-take.

  4. If you did your research, you don’t have to write the sequal, It’s Irvine Welsh’s ‘Porno’ dick head.

  5. very funny if it’s a joke or an hallucination… hahaha it should have been released on fool’s day, it’s a great joke

  6. People are thinking about this too much, or perhaps not enough? The piece was entertaining enough.

  7. you should read Porno, from Irvine Welsh, is the second part of Trainspotting. Is completely different… but TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!

  8. in ‘porno’ begbie wants to kill renton, because of the money he stole. when renton comes back has to hide from begbie.
    this opening scene is sh*t

  9. Its only a piss take guys ! Lighten up, for fuck sake ! Very amusing ! Could just imagine Begbie doing yoga lol !

  10. What Anonymous said, also Welsh’s take on Begby in Porno blows anything you might come up with out of the water, Spud too…poor poor Spud.

  11. It seems like it could be more of a dream-type sequence and then move into the actual film.

  12. Sucks big time… Did you even see the movie?… Bad, no talent, no nothing… You suck shit

  13. Which is funny, ’cause Robert Carlyle (Begbie) actually admitted to doing yoga in an interview. Even though I think this would make a terrible movie, I’d still love to see it happen. XD When pigs fly…

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