HOLLYWOOD – Following Alex Gibney’s documentary Going Clear, Hollywood’s leading exponents of the Church of Scientology have called for the church’s status as a religion to be rescinded and replaced with an official recognition on the part of the federal government as a ‘cult’.

‘It’s a move Scientology has been considering for some time,’ said Giovanni Ribisi. ‘We were looking around at the Catholic church and the Muslims and what not and we thought, jeez, maybe being a cult is sexier!’


John Travolta also added his voice to the cause. ‘Nothing much will change,’ said the Looks Who’s Talking 2 star. ‘You still get to believe in crazy shit, but we don’t have to pretend to be normal anymore, which frankly has been a strain.’
However, former Scientologist Paul Haggis believes that the move from religion back to cult will change very little in the organisation. ‘They’ve tried this before,’ said the Crash director. ‘This is an organisation that recruited Charlie Manson as an attempt to improve its PR, for Hubbard’s sake.’
The move is believed to have come following a viewing by church leaders of the Alex Gibney HBO documentary, Going Clear which aired  last Sunday. An anonymous source said:
We all sat and watched the film and when it was over there was this silence. It was eerie and then a voice said from the dark, ‘F*ck it, let’s just be cult.’ And that’s what was decided.
We will keep you up to date as this story develops.

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