RYAN GOLSING AND EVA MENDES HAVE NOT BROKEN UP
HOLLYWOOD – The world of show business was this morning reeling from the news that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have not broken up. Vince Vaughn said that he was shocked but at the same time not surprised: ‘I’m not going to say I saw this coming but I did see them in January and they seemed okay.’
The news was all over the internet and was met with dismay and almost universal revulsion and expressions of regret. British broadcaster and suspicious lump on the ball sack of journalism, Piers Morgan spoke for many when he said:
Ryan is talented and beautiful and Eva is… well, I certainly wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting, so it is ludicrously unfair that they are still together and apparently happy, and not spreading a bit of that honey around. Come on guys, at least cheat a little. Or a lot.
Jack Nicholson also commented:
I think it’s symptomatic of how sick this society has become. In my day a couple like that together would have been legally obliged to at least participate in a couple of three-ways a year as well as the odd affair. Jesus, it’s like they actually want to be boring.
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes’ relationship began when they met during the filming of The Place Beyond the Pines.
‘We both enjoy collecting Second World War memorabilia,’ Mendes said at the time. ‘When I saw his Panzer, I knew he was the guy for me.’
Gangster Squad was absolutely shit, but fortunately no one remembers it.