russell brand

LONDON – The British Empire was shaken today when it came to light that Russell Brand, actor, comedian and political commentator, does not have a university education.

Journalists from the right wing Daily Mail and the left wing Guardian formed an unlikely coalition in denouncing the upstart entertainer for criticizing his betters and drawing into the popular debate such complicated, bothersome and technical matters as parliamentary democracy, the disenfranchised and the role of money in politics.

The trouble started when Mr. Brand wrote a book called Revolution, and this despite having not had a first class education at either Oxford or Cambridge, or even one of the dreaded red brick universities (similar to our community colleges).

Esteemed political commentator, Eton old boy and Oxbridge graduate Nicholas Farkward told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Russell Brand’s a menace and needs to be stamped out. First off he has a wonky Essex accent and doesn’t pronounce stuff proper. Then he has  lots of money and, according to my source in the netherworld, was married briefly to Katy Perry.

So are you saying celebrities shouldn’t speak about politics?

No of course not. A celebrity, especially a very rich one, can talk all they like about politics. Michael Caine for instance wasn’t university educated, slept with beautiful women and has a bit of a working class accent, but when he complains about having to pay too much tax, he speaks sound sense. Why Mr. Brand is talking about social injustice and poverty is beyond me. We already have Bono!

The Brand-Lash now involves trolling on a large scale as well as a chorus of derision. Of course, not everything Russell Brand says is coherent, but the derision being heaped on him is really down to the fact he doesn’t wear the correct school tie. In fact sometimes he doesn’t wear a tie at all.

For a cogent background article, read here.

Russell Brand was unavailable to comment but you will find much of what he has said all over the internet. 

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