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Monday 30 November 2020
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ROGER RABBIT FOUND DEAD AT 55.

ROGER RABBIT FOUND DEAD AT 55.

HOLLYWOOD – Roger Rabbit was found dead in his L.A. home earlier this morning after police responded to an anonymous tip off.

The star of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, who had become a virtual recluse for the last decade, is known to have died from a single gunshot wound to the head and after discovering a note found at the scene, which we will print in full below, authorities currently suspect he took his own life:

 

Dear world,

I am going to blow my brains out..

Your friend,

Roger Rabbit

 

Once the hottest actor in Hollywood, Roger’s star faded over the past thirty years after a string of flops and financial mismanagement, combined with a drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling and carrot addiction led to him being blacklisted by the movie industry.

“I tried. F*ck me I tried,” lamented his long term agent, Skip Billings:

Fame came to Roger practically overnight and he couldn’t handle it. The offers were flooding in. Scorsese wanted him to play Henry Hill in Goodfellas, he turned down the Lestat role in Interview with the Vampire. The sonofabitch got fired from the movie Ghost because he was so drunk during the potter’s wheel scene instead of fondling the clay he kept groping Demi Moore’s tits!

On top of that his wife…well let’s just say Jessica has petted every animal in the zoo and that drove Roger insane. They’re still legally married, he never stopped loving her, but her affair with Bugs and their eventual separation was the final nail in the hutch.

Roger’s friend, Ryan Reynolds, acknowledged the passing of his friend on Twitter:

My heart is so heavy right now. Just last month we were talking about the possibility of a role in Deadpool 3 for Roger and he was very excited. Life is so cruel sometimes. Rest in peace, bunny.

@vanctiyreynolds

 

Baby Herman, who is currently awaiting trial accused of being involved in the infamous Jeffrey Epstein sex slave case, issued the following statement via his lawyer:

Roger was the kindest, most loyal friend a baby could have. I wish I could have been there for him but unfortunately I’m awaiting trial for crimes I did not commit and I’d like to state again for the record that I have never been to any island and I’ve never even heard of Bill Clinton.

 

Roger is survived by his estranged wife, Jessica and their 350 children.

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