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Saturday 20 July 2019
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ROBOCOP POSSIBLE SOLUTION FOR FERGUSON

ROBOCOP POSSIBLE SOLUTION FOR FERGUSON

MISSOURI – In the light of recent events in Ferguson, Missouri, lawmakers have been looking to Hollywood for solutions to the on-going crisis, and in particular to the Paul Verhoeven classic Robocop.

Law enforcement expert Dave Whitaker told Studio Exec this morning:

Lawmakers are in a double squeeze: on the one hand they are dealing with demands across communities to get tough on crime, but on the other the individuals they charge with keeping that law and order, the police in other words, are themselves biased, unfair or plain incompetent. So this is where the technology that Paul Verhoeven developed for his film Robocop would really come in handy. And I know for a fact that several prototypes which the director used in the film have been dusted off and trucked down to Missouri late last night.

But surely that is only going to make a violent situation a lot more violent?

Yes. Possibly. But what you have to remove is the idea that people are being shot on account of something as illogical as racial prejudice. Robocop would just be shooting people indiscriminately, well not indiscriminately, but you know what I mean. Plus as a machine he would also be unaware of the emotional suffering he was causing. Not to mention how neat he looks. Talk about sleek.

We’re talking about the 1987 Robocop, right?

I was unaware of any other. Except of course for the rather underwhelming sequels.

But surely Verhoeven was satirizing a fascistic streak in American fantasies of an all powerful law enforcement officer.

Yes, absolutely.

So you’re advocating fascism, essentially.

A little.

The first Robocop is due to be deployed later this evening as a purely precautionary measure.

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