Monday 10 August 2020
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THE OTHER SIDE – Great British eccentric and comedy actor extraordinaire, Rik Mayall has exclusively revealed to The Studio Exec that he has signed up to star in season 5 of Game of Thrones.

“I didn’t even watch the f*cking series when I was alive and I’m sure to bloody hell not going to watch it now that I’m dead,” said a surprisingly animated Mayall:

To be honest I thought it was one of those god awful home improvement shows and the moronic couple that had the fanciest toilet seat won a trip to Majorca but my agent, the bastard, told me that they’d give me a wheelbarrow full of money and all the birds on it had huge jugs so I thought, well sod this for a Game of Thrones. If they want me that badly and they’re willing to pay me 50 million squillion francs then I’ll do it and up their assholes!

Mayall went on to reveal which character he is going to play.

They wanted me to play this ruler of a desert city who is invaded by this tart that gave birth to a dragon but I said to George RRRRRRR Martin. ‘Look, Georgie boy, the Dragon bitch can play my balls but there’s no way I’m playing that other chap.’ After a few days of shouting in the end they just told me I could play any character  I wanted so I’ll be playing the coveted role of the ghost of Ned Stark.

Asked how he prepared for the role, Mayall scoffed:

What do you mean ‘How did I prepare for the role?’ I bloody died didn’t I! That’s the reason why Sean Beany Weeny didn’t  play him again. He was too much of a pansy to go the whole hog but I said  to Georgie RRRRRR Martin. If this is to be the last part I play then you can bet your top bollocks I’m going to play it properly. Now if you don’t mind pissing off there’s a pair  of foxy angels coming around to my cloud and they both fancy a shag.

R.I.P Rik Mayall. 
7 March 1958 – 9 June 2014
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