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Saturday 24 February 2018
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RIDLEY SCOTT’S PROMETHEUS ‘STILL SHIT’

RIDLEY SCOTT’S PROMETHEUS ‘STILL SHIT’

LONDON – A rewatch of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus confirmed last night that the Alien prequel is still crap.

Derek Ammerberryson of North London in the United Kingdom confirmed last night that Prometheus was ‘still shit.’ Ammerberryson accidentally rewatched the blu-ray when after a mix up with cases. He told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I put the film in the wrong case. I wanted to watch Necromancer again but then the menu came up with that bird from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and so I realized – with horror – my mistake. I’d seen Alien Covenant and hadn’t wanted to kill myself so I thought I’d give the first film a whirl and see if it was as bad as I remembered.

And?

Oh it is absolute dog turd.

Really?

Piss biscuits. Big dog’s cocks.

Right.

It’s like cinematic effluent. The script seems to have been written by Damon Lindelof. It’s that bad.

It was written by Damon Lindelof.

Well, there you go, see!

What would you say to those who are thinking of rewatching Prometheus?

I’ve got a copy of Necromancer I’ll sell you for a tanner.

Prometheus is still available.

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