RICKY GERVAIS PLAN FOR THE OSCARS REVEALED

Oscar host 2014

LONDON – British comedian and shock bucket Ricky Gervais declared this week that he would be willing to host the Oscars in 2014 on the condition that he would have ‘artistic’ freedom. The Studio Exec can EXCLUSIVELY reveal Mr. Gervais’ plans, as he left them scrawled on a napkin after a ‘power’ lunch with his gangly friend Stephen Merchant and the man he hates most in the world, Karl Pilkington.

IDEAS FOR OSKARS (Notes)

(By me, THE Gervais and Stephen and turd face)

SAY SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL. WHEN aUDIENCE BOOS SAY:

    ‘You knew what you were getting’, or ‘don’t worry it doesn’t get worse (it gets worse)’ ha ha. [See Seth MacFarlane video. Study it.]

      funny spass

    TOM CRUISE IS GAY.

     

      Ha ha ha ha! (work in a joke here maybe)

      SAY SOMETHING RACIALIST THAT ISN’T RACIALIST BUT IS ABOUT RACIALIALISM 

      (laughing at it, NOT with it!)

      CLIP SECTION ENTITLED ‘SPASTICS IN FILM’

        mY nAME IS sAM, fORREST gUMP, oNE fLEW oVER THE cUCKOO’S nEST, The kING’s sPEECH, cLICK…

        MUSICAL SECTION: SONG ABOUT RAPE 

          Like ‘We saw your Tits’ but ONLY rape scenes. Jodie Foster line can stay. Controversial AND sexy! 

          Say Billy Crystal Woody Allen Mel BROOKS Mel GIBSON is a ‘shit’

            THE END

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