RIAN JOHNSON SAYS STAR WARS CAN ‘SUCK MY COCK’

Miles Cravat Apr 6, 2021

HOLLYWOOD – Rian Johnson tells Star Wars to suck his big fat cock. 

In an exclusive interview with The Exec Rian Johnson says Star Wars can suck it.

With the announcement of his $450m deal with Netflix, The Last Jedi director, Rian Johnson says Star Wars can suck it.

Thank you for coming in to talk with us at The Exec bungalow Rian:

I could buy this shit hole if I wanted to, did you know that?

Well, congratulations are in order on your big Netflix deal:

Fuckin’ A, bubba. You’re darn tootin’ congratulations are in order. 450 fucking million clams man. That’s a whole lotta of green, baby.

We understand this is for two more Knives Out films with Daniel Craig:

Yeah, I guess. But you know what? Craig ain’t that expensive anymore. His Bond film, No Time To blah blah blah hasn’t seen the light of day. That means Knives Out is the last big thing he did. I can pretty much get him for scale at the moment. Bond is my bitch.

We understand you start shooting this summer?

Yep, that’s right. In Greece. Fucking Greece, of all places man. Everything is so cheap over there, we’ll make a killing. I made Knives Out for $45million, which is a snip. If I shoot the next one in Greece, even with distancing, I can knock this one out for $50million, tops. Ker-fucking-ching baby.

With the commitment of this deal, are you still making your Star Wars films?

No way man. They can all go suck on my fat lightsaber if they think I’m going back to that. The amount of shit I got for TLJ? Forget it Luke, it’s Chinatown. They can look up my big fat shiny moon of Endor and see if they can feel the dark side of the force.

Any casting news you can share with for Knives Out 2?

Check this out. I’m getting Mark Hamill to play the fucking killer. That’ll really piss off all those pricks at Disney and the twitter Star Wars stans. Right, that’s your lot, I’m outta here. Now where did I park my gold Lamborghini?

Umm, Rian Johnson, thank you for your time:

Whatever, douche bags. Peace out.

KNIVES OUT 2 STARTS FILMING LATER THIS SUMMER