Colin Firth is made of wood
Colin Firth just ain’t no good
He likes railways
He wears glasses
Has a thing for bad moustaches
Nicole Kidman plays his lady
She gets sad when he goes crazy
But it’s hard to squeeze tear drops
When you have had so much botox
Her husband was in World World II
And for a change he’s not a Jew
The man was tortured, driven mental
By a wicked oriental.
He must go confront that Jap
So he can be a normal chap
And so he goes to face that guy
Who was in The Last Samurai
The editing is all at sea
There’s not a trace of chemistry
But if it was better directed
Oscars would have been expected
Sure it will pick up aBAFTA
Best screenplay and best screen actor
Because the British are so bias
And Colin went on a diet….
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