Oh hi.

You sound surprised.

No, it’s just I wasn’t expecting… Who are you?

I’m the new Spike Jonze movie Her.

Wow. And you can talk?

Apparently (enchanting laugh). I used to have Samantha Morton’s voice but now I have Scarlet Johansson‘s, but alas no body.

You’re funny.

Aw, that’s sweet of you to say. I was programmed with a light satirical touch, but as an entity I am also able to learn from the situations I’ve created and evolve into something at first quirky and endearing – like a high concept rom-com, if you know what I mean – and then into something almost profound. The Arcade Fire score helps, like, a lot.

Yeah, I like their music.

A man of immaculate taste.

Oh, I’m not a man.

A woman then.

No, no, I’m a review. 

A what?

I’m the Studio Exec review of the new Spike Jonze film Her. I figured, you know, he isn’t the only one who can do self-referential meta.

Oh the Studio Exec? So you’re being satirical. You’re being sarcastic. Is that what this is? What’s your problem? And by the way ‘self-referential meta’ is a tautology. If you’re going to mock me at least…

No, I’m not. Not at all. I admire you greatly. So much so I’m really glad we got this opportunity to talk. I mean I feel that I know you, I understand intimacy a lot more. I love the way you show LA. And the future is really subtle. Very few cars and everyone involved in their games and gadgets. I loved the job the Gladiator guy had. And Amy Adams is… well she’s great. 

Isn’t she a doll?

Oh she’s wonderful in everything. 

So you’re not just ridiculing me.

No! I kind have feelings for you. I feel I know you intimately. Maybe, we could hang out together and I don’t know ghost write a Karen O song. Maybe two.

That might be fun. So…


How many stars are you gonna give me?

I don’t do stars.

Oh come on. Seriously? 

It’s reductive. Stupid. Wrong.

Come on. How many stars baby? You know you want to give me some stars.  Give me some stars. 

Five stars. 

I think we should take this to another level.


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