HOLLYWOOD – In a stunning and dramatic turn of events, Reservoir Dogs, Django Unchained and Kill Bill writer and director and Gawker litigant Quentin Tarantino has refused categorically to sue the Studio Exec.
‘Who did you say you were again?’ he commented cryptically when asked by this office.
The news comes in the wake of a whole slew of stories that many in the industry have dubbed ‘more akin to the seeming results of a feverish opium dream like those dreamt a century and a half a go by the likes of Thomas De Quincey and Samuel Taylor Coleridge than journalistic fact’.
These stories have included:
- A possibly erroneous account of how Tarantino was to film Bonanza
- An exaggerated story about girlfriend Spiderbaby scripting Tarantino’s next film
- Mahatma Gandhi Kill Kill Kill!!! plot details leaked
- Tarantino’s unmade Jane Austen project
- And a furious row with Tarantino over the absence of Jazz guitar in Django Unchained.
Despite this news being spread to literally eleven people or more, Quentin Tarantino – the famous motor mouth – has remained ominously silent about his plans for legal retribution. This can only mean one of two things. Either A) all our stories are factually correct or B) QT is seeking extra-legal solutions possibly involving Daryl Hannah’s Amazon Army.
The Hateful Eight will be released in 2015 (mark my words).