HOLLYWOOD – Scientists in Zurich have revealed that the proximity of the word ‘Bad’ to the front of a film’s title, reduces its funniness by a gazillioneth.
Recent comedies such as Bad Grandpa and Bad Neighbors and now Bad Moms have categorically proven that the word Bad at the beginning of the movie title makes it almost automatically bad. And not Bad in some ironic, sick, young people’s way of talking bad, but just bad the way dog shit in a picnic basket or a cemetery devoted to the under fives is bad. We’re not talking about the Michael Jackson Bad, except – in another context – perhaps we are.
Dr. Zarkhoff told the Studio Exec:
Jesus Christ, I’m trying to do some work here. Will you get out of here? For the love of Mike! Not there, don’t put it there. Yeah, so what do you want to know? Oh, yeah the use of the word Bad at the beginning of movie titles? Yes, your instinct is correct. There has been a Bad Teacher, Bad Santa, Bad Grandpa, Bad Boys, Bad Boys II and Bad Lieutenant, none of which were funny. With the exception of Bad Lieutenant. I don’t know why they continue to try, but perhaps it’s because of Breaking Bad which was very popular. Or Superbad, which was, you know, okay. But I don’t know. Partly it has to be something to do with getting to the front of the Netflix queue. Something like that. Although 000000000000,1 Aardvark is a far better title if that’s what you want.