PRESIDENT OBAMA BANS COLDPLAY FROM THE US

Chad Sternberger Apr 19, 2016

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama today issued an Executive Order which bans the British ‘rock’ group Coldplay from all US territories.

In an unprecedented move, President Obama has formally banned the ‘music’ group Coldplay from the USA. In a statement the White House said:

President Barack Obama has looked with some concern on the rise of the British music guitar based pop group Coldplay for some time. Their dull noodlings have a stultifying effect on culture general and so with some regret the President has taken the step of issuing a ban denying visas and entrance to Chris Martin, Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland and Will Champion and whoever will in the future be a member of the group to the country.

In an interview with the Studio Exec, President Obama said:

They’re just so awful. The last straw however was the halftime show at the Superbowl. It was bad enough that those glasses of milk had to drag Beyonce down with them. At that point I knew I had to do something. But it isn’t just music, scientists have concluded that the group contribute to global warming just by being so tedious.

Coldplay were unavailable for comment.