VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis, the Bishop of Rome, today launched a stunning attack on the comedy sequel Horrible Bosses 2.
The pontiff used his weekly sermon delivered to pilgrims congregated in Saint Peter’s Square in Rome to launch a scathing attack on what he called ‘an utterly unnecessary sequel to an appallingly inept comedy, the very existence of which calls into question the existence of a benevolent creator’:
Hollywood can be a force for good in the world. I for one am stoked to see Interstellar, but why are they making Horrible Bosses 2? How does Jason Sudeikis get work any more? Who is this Sean Anders asshole? He made what? Meet the Millers? That was a terrible film. And now they’re talking about a Paul Bart: Mall Cop 2. I mean, if this comes to pass, I for one will question my faith in the existence of a good God.
Pope Francis’ comments comes following a slew of uninspiring comedy sequels such as Dumb and Dumber To, which the Patriarch of the Greek Orthodox Church Bartholomew the First called ‘truly disappointing, a real let down’. However, Rabbi David Lau seemed more forgiving, saying that he ‘would watch anything with Jennifer Aniston in it. She is a very funny comedienne.’
Arch-atheist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins welcomed the Holy Father’s comments:
I think this pope is moving the Catholic church forward to a place of dialogue and common ground. Scientists working at CERN have been bombarding all three Hangover films with neutrons and they just don’t get any funnier. In fact the first one, which we had originally thought was quite amusing, just gets progressively worse even though that seems to suggest some theoretically impossible time travel.
Horrible Bosses 2 will be released no matter what we do or say.