BEVERLY HILLS – Last night Playboy – the mascot behind porn’s most prestigious magazine – revealed that he was in fact gay. ‘I’ve been protesting too much,’ said the 64 year old bunny rabbit.
For years, I’ve basically tried to maintain something of an ambiguous sexuality and I would commonly tell my closest friends that I was bi-sexual, which in our circles is perfectly acceptable, but I can no longer live even a half-lie and I feel it absolutely necessary in the current political climate to be clear about my sexuality. I am gay. I am sexually attracted only to men. And everyone should know that.
Hugh Heffner – the man who has taken on the day to day running of Playboy Enterprises and a close friend of the Harvey like figure – said that he was overjoyed that his friend finally felt able to be true to himself.
It’s been a long time coming but you haven’t to understand that me and Buns are basically children of the forties. We built an empire on heterosexuality and we had to protect the brand so to speak. But I always thought we had left plenty of clues along the way. For instance the way we put bow ties on the playmates, and the fact we called them playmates. Even the rabbit ears were enlarged to suggest male rabbits and not the short-eared female.
The LGBT community reacted with enthusiasm to Playboy’s revelation and claimed to always have known, thanks to a device called a ‘gaydar’.