PETER SELLERS: BENEFIT FRAUD
It can finally be revealed that famed comic actor Peter Sellers was actually a benefit fraud who pretended – some say acted – disabled in order to claim government handouts and park closer to the library. This photograph reveals the actor blatantly standing unaided, whereas it appears in fact to have been poor Stanley Kubrick who needed a wheelchair, possibly because he was rendered unable to stand due to Mr. Sellers’ bare faced gall. At the bottom of the picture, another crew member can be seen knocked unconscious by the effrontery of the soon to be Inspector Clousseau.
British Prime Minister David Cameron revealed that his government would be digging up the remains of Mr. Sellers and dragging them behind chariots, especially made for just such an occasion. ‘We are a nation of strivers,’ said Mr. Cameron. ‘And he has shamed himself and everyone else in the entire country.’
A film historian even pointed out that the character he is playing actually stands up at the end of the film, making his deception all the more perfidious.