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Monday 20 August 2018
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PAUL RUDD: ‘I WORSHIP SATAN’

PAUL RUDD: ‘I WORSHIP SATAN’

LOS ANGELES – Ant Man Paul Rudd has become the latest in a long line of stars to declare their deep and abiding religious belief in the Prince of Darkness, Satan.

‘Hollywood can be a crazy place and being an actor can be a stressful occupation,’ the Ant Man and the Wasp star said smiling affably. ‘I find worshipping Satan brings me inner peace and centres me.’

Rudd’s conversion marks only the latest Hollywood star – Selena Gomez and Christian Slater have also recently declared themselves Satanists – in what is quickly becoming what many are calling the ‘New Scientology’. A new high tech and air conditioned Center for the Promotion of Beelzebub  has opened off Sunset Boulevard, where new celebrity devotees can gather and practice their various Black Masses and rituals.

Paul Rudd speaking from his Hollywood home said:

People think that it’s all worshiping upside down crucifixes, sacrificing babies and desecrating churches. Well I’ve never seen an upside down crucifix, but two out of three ain’t bad, ha ha ha!

Tom Cruise angrily responded to the claims that Satanism had now overtaken Scientology as the new nut-bag spiritual fad.

These people are weak minded and they’re being taken in by charlatans who are basically inventing a lot of gobbledegook that people like Ruddy are just swallowing whole. The main problem is it’s cheaper than Scientology.

Bishop Humbert Humbert of the Roman Catholic church however welcomed the surge in commitment:

What we should focus on here is the fact that these people believe in the same beings we believe in. We’ve been fighting against the wave of Godless atheism, so I frankly welcome Satanists as on our team. I’d rather have a Rudd than a Dawkins any day of the week.

What do you think? Are you a Satanist? Has anyone got video evidence of Paul Rudd eating a baby? Please post comments letting us know your thoughts.

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2 thoughts on “PAUL RUDD: ‘I WORSHIP SATAN’

  1. Shawn Rennert

    HAIL SATAN. I TOO AM A SATAN WORSHIPER AND SUPPORT PAUL RUDD AND OTHERS THAT TAKE FULL CONTROL AND FULL ADVANTAGE TO LEAD A LIFE THAT HONORS OUR HUMANITY.

    Reply
  2. Sean

    LORD SATAN IS FREEDOM, LIBRITATION WHO WILL ALWAYS AT HIS CHOOSING without fail FAR exceed HUMAN CONCEPTION. HES ALL THINGS LIGHT DARKNESS GOOD INSATIABLE AND SUPERIOR. HUMAN KIND CAN NEVER FULLY PERCEIVE HIS DOMINION. BUT ARE COMPELLED BY HIS BEAUTY UNSURPASSED AND INCONCEIVABLE. HE IS THE ANTITHESES OF RELIGIOUS INSANITY BUT DIRECTS INSURMANTABLE POWER THAT COMPELLS HUMAN IMSTINCT WITHOUT resistance. So surrender and be one with the light and darkness that elevates human persuit of life’s inordinate possibilities. HAIL MY LORD LUCIFER SATAN.

    Reply

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