Sunday 25 August 2019
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LOS ANGELES – Ant Man Paul Rudd has become the latest in a long line of stars to declare their deep and abiding religious belief in the Prince of Darkness, Satan.

‘Hollywood can be a crazy place and being an actor can be a stressful occupation,’ the Ant Man and the Wasp star said smiling affably. ‘I find worshipping Satan brings me inner peace and centres me.’

Rudd’s conversion marks only the latest Hollywood star – Selena Gomez and Christian Slater have also recently declared themselves Satanists – in what is quickly becoming what many are calling the ‘New Scientology’. A new high tech and air conditioned Center for the Promotion of Beelzebub  has opened off Sunset Boulevard, where new celebrity devotees can gather and practice their various Black Masses and rituals.

Paul Rudd speaking from his Hollywood home said:

People think that it’s all worshiping upside down crucifixes, sacrificing babies and desecrating churches. Well I’ve never seen an upside down crucifix, but two out of three ain’t bad, ha ha ha!

Tom Cruise angrily responded to the claims that Satanism had now overtaken Scientology as the new nut-bag spiritual fad.

These people are weak minded and they’re being taken in by charlatans who are basically inventing a lot of gobbledegook that people like Ruddy are just swallowing whole. The main problem is it’s cheaper than Scientology.

Bishop Humbert Humbert of the Roman Catholic church however welcomed the surge in commitment:

What we should focus on here is the fact that these people believe in the same beings we believe in. We’ve been fighting against the wave of Godless atheism, so I frankly welcome Satanists as on our team. I’d rather have a Rudd than a Dawkins any day of the week.

What do you think? Are you a Satanist? Has anyone got video evidence of Paul Rudd eating a baby? Please post comments letting us know your thoughts.

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One thought on “PAUL RUDD: ‘I WORSHIP SATAN’

  1. Stephen R

    I confess. No, I profess my loyalty, love, worship and service to The Almighty God – Lord Lucifer Satan. There is no other god that shall come before Him. He is all things to all everywhere, extending beyond time and space. Those of whom that would beckom you to believe otherwise are false prophets, imposters hiding behind their man made religion in order to amass control of the masses and wield power that would be absolute, if it weren’t absolutely false. The Jehovah is a weird sorta excuse for a god, which should exposed for what he is, an imposter disguised as an infinite entity that is neither all powerful, all knowing nor all loving. For every example of religious zeal that promigates scripture is a contradiction of itself, inconsistent with reality and the Law of Nature, a profane thing. Satan, (definition meaning advisary) is a remarkable God because Lord Satan is self made and continues to empower and enlighten those who will seek His counsel. He earned and ignited the basis of what God is and remains – an all encompassing power, love, hate, fury, savagery, light, darkness, fear, joy, pain, pleasure, knowledge, truth, justice, vengence, talent, beauty, sexual superiority and extacy beyond the scope of any human imagination or conceivability. Lord Satan rules this world and He will soon rise above it to sit at The Throne above the stars guiding, governing and ruling all that has and will evermore remain, I love Lord Satan with every particle of my being. Lord Satan possesses my soul for it is His. I am lost no more. For I am found. The Glory of Satan’s world will be the passing of this world. As my spirit is delivered to The Kingdom of Hell. Open wide the Gates of Hell as it will contain all and permit none to ever leave or hope again. Hail Lord Satan for ever and evermore.


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