OWEN WILSON’S NOSE ESCAPES
HOLLYWOOD – On all points alert has been put out for Owen Wilson’s nose, which escaped his face last night and is believed to be on its way to Mexico.
Owen Wilson – the star of Behind Enemy Lines and Night at the Museum 2 – has appealed to the public to help apprehend his nose, which yesterday escaped from his face and is believed to be heading for the southern border of the United States.
An emotional Wilson spoke briefly to the Studio Exec last night:
I can’t believe he’s gone. I mean, we were always so close. I owe him so much and I made sure that he had everything he needed, and for him to just run out on me like this… well, it’s the worst betrayal I’ve ever known. I mean I’ve heard of having a runny nose but this is ridiculous.
However, friends of Wilson’s nose have said that they were not surprised by the turn of events.
Owen Wilson has mistreated that nose more than any nasal appendage has been treated before. It gave him all his wonky quirky humor and he treated it in a way that was abusive.
Although the legal situation is unclear, the border police were on high alert and the hope that some kind of reconciliation was still high.