OUTSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO: AL PACINO

The Studio Exec sat down with the legendary Al Pacino to discuss life, love and shouting very loudly.

 

Hello, Mr Pacino. Thanks for coming.

You couldn’t get De Niro, huh?

 

Excuse me?

Bobby De Niro turned you down so you’re interviewing me instead.

 

No, we never reached out to De Niro.

It’s always the f*cking same. All my life.

 

Honestly and from the bottom of my heart, I wanted to interview you.

Really?

 

Really.

Great, let’s get down to it.

 

Excellent. Okay. First question. What was it like working with Robert De Niro in Heat?

F*ck you.

 

F*ck me?

Yeah, f*ck you. Next question.

 

Fine. Of all the movies you’ve made I think my favourite has to be ‘Righteous Kill’. What was it like working with Robert De Niro?

You say that name one more time and I’m walking out of here.

 

What, Righteous Kill?

You know the f*cking name. You know.

 

Okay, I’ve got the message. Let’s move on. You worked with Joe Pesci in The Irishman.

Great actor. A giant.

 

When you were on set, did you ask him what it was like to work with De Niro in Raging Bull?

F*CK YOU.

 

How about Goodfellas?

LISTEN YOU MOTHER F*CKING COCKSUCKER. I WAS OFFERED THE LEAD IN BAD GRANDPA, TURNED IT DOWN. I WAS OFFERED THE LEAD IN MEET THE PARENTS, TOLD THEM TO KISS MY ASS AND BRING ME A BETTER SCRIPT. DE NIRO ISN’T THE GREATEST LIVING ACTOR, IT’S F*CKING AL PACINO!

 

Actually, Daniel Day-Lewis is the greatest living actor.

HE’S F*CKING RETIRED!

 

He’s still alive, though.

F*CK HIM, F*CK THIS AND F*CK YOU.

 

Okay, okay. I apologise. No more De Niro talk. Let’s move on and talk about your excellent documentary ‘Looking for Richard.’

Oh. Alright. FINALLY. Well I’ve always been enamoured by the character of Richard III and making the doc was just a labour of love.

 

Sure.

Sure? Is that all you have to say, sure?

 

Well I was just thinking, Robert De Niro would make an excellent Richard III.

HERE COMES THE PAIN MOTHERF*CKER. HOO-HA!