OUTRAGE OVER MINI MAGIC MIKE

LOS ANGELES – Today the Modern Shire Mini Coalition or MSMC held a press conference regarding the filming of director Victor Salva’s sequel to the 2012 film Magic Mike, currently titled Mini Magic Mike. Spearheaded by Elijah Wood, the group fights for the rights of little people across the nation.


“It’s just sick, what they’re doing,” said Wood. “To expose little people in such a way is degrading. We expect to be treated like anyone else.”


Members of URSPESHUL, a content group consisting of middle aged soccer moms working together with the MPAA were also present. It was they who first brought the film to Wood’s attention after a test screening. Annie Gorgenshertz, the founder of the group, was red-faced as she spoke: “They look like little children! America has to protect it’s children. It is obviously not a priority of Hollywood, it makes us sick that a studio would finance such a film. The great Jack Valenti must be rolling in his grave.”
Steven Soderburgh, ‘director’, declined the sequel. The studio then called in Victor Salva, whose credits include Clownhouse, the Disney-financed Powder, and a prison play entitled Tito’s Cambodian Adventure. We caught up with him at a local McDonald’s: “Well… I can understand some of their points, they do have meaty little hands.” he sipped his Coke and continued: “I am telling a story here, an emotional story.” 

The film’s star Verne Troyer spat: “Children? I’m a grown man! And screw Elijah! He just wishes he looked as good in ass-less chaps as I do!”

The film will co-star Warwick Davis, and a rumored cameo by Tom Cruise. It is currently set for a Summer 2014 release.
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