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Saturday 20 July 2019
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OSCARS CEREMONY TO BE DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT

OSCARS CEREMONY TO BE DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT

HOLLYWOOD – Ridley Scott is to direct the Oscars ceremony on the 22nd of February, featuring an exclusively white cast.

A spokesperson for the academy said:

We decided to take the ceremony in a new direction this year. Political correctness went mad the last few shows. We had Lincoln freeing the slaves, Django shooting the slave owners and 12 Years a Slave, being all about slaves as well. For twelve years. But now we have a black president and all that racism has been effectively dealt with so it’s time to get back to rich white people, mainly men.

So you called Ridley?

Absolutely. We thought that we couldn’t just pretend Selma didn’t exist although we tried our best. He came up with the idea of replacing the black cast with Joel Edgerton and Aaron Paul.

Fantastic!

Isn’t it? And although people are complaining about diversity, I’d say to them that the show is going to be diverse anyway. Look at Boyhood. White little boy, white big boy, white teenager, white young fella. What could be more diverse? Oh, and American Sniper, white guy shoots brown guys. What could be more topical!? Birdman, white guy worries about being too rich and successful. The Imitation Game, white guy wins the war. The Theory of Everything, white guy solves all the problems in the universe, especially Black Holes (that’s not racist is it?)

I don’t know.

Oh and my favorite. Whiplash. Two guys get incredibly pissy about perfecting jazz. And they’re basically white! That’s the twist.

For more Oscars news click HERE.

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