HOLLYWOOD – This morning, Oprah Winfrey announced she has adopted Angelina Jolie as her daughter. Angelina will now go by the name of Angelina Winfrey.

Under conditions of strictest secrecy, the adoption process began early last year and was formalised in a short civic ceremony this morning in Los Angeles.
Brad Pitt attended along with a few close friends and thirty seven of Jolie’s own adopted children. The other forty one were unable to attend as they were finishing their homework. Colin Farrell – who Brad and Angelina adopted while they were working together on Alexander – also attended and wept like a child, often covering his face with a large polka dotted handkerchief.

wept like a ponce

Oprah said she was delighted to welcome Angelina into her family and that they would be living together from now on and doing lots of mom-daughter things such as baking cup cakes and screaming at each other about ‘not understanding’ and life being ‘so unfair’.

Jon Voigt – Angelina Winfrey’s estranged father – said that the adoption did not come as a surprise.

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