HOLLYWOOD – Film actress and political activist Olivia Wilde finally admitted today that she comes from another planet, ending years of speculation that about the Drinking Buddies actress’ extraterrestrial origins.
She told shocked delegates at a meeting of PETA: ‘I’m a Vegan.’
The astonished audience broke into confused applause. One onlooker who wasn’t astonished was noted Alien Watcher, Sybil Stokes:
I’ve had my eye on Wilde for some time. I believe that every actor/actress confesses to their alien origins in their choice of film roles. They can’t help it. Aliens are so up themselves. Look at John Travolta in Battlefield Earth or better still: don’t. ‘Olivia Wilde’ has played an alien in Cowboys and Aliens and a weird computer thing in Tron Legacy.
The planet Vega is part of the Sirius solar system and has been known to support potentially intelligent life for years. Vegans, who have come to our planet via a series of ‘space tubes’, assume humanoid form, but give themselves away via their weird eyes and the way they refuse to eat meat, fish, eggs and dairy products, which badly effect their alien digestive system.
Lazarus will be released in 2015.