NSA BUG ‘ONLY TO GET SCRIPT IDEAS’
HOLLYWOOD – Colleagues of Edward Snowden from the NSA are claiming that they only got into the ‘bugging game’ for some ‘authentic dialogue for screen writing class’, and are now touting their spec scripts around Hollywood.
They began of course with the Studio Exec. Insisting on nom de guerre Jackal Thunder (real name Josh Tilly), Josh said:
People only talk like people when they’re being bugged. You get that great rhythm, that natural feel that writing class don’t give. Plus I got to snoop on some real characters.
Could you give us an example?
I’ve changed the names a little but there was this German Chancellor I call Angie Mangler. She’d use government funds to order take-out and boy did she flirt on the phone! Hot stuff! I turned that into a geo-political sexual thriller involving a pizza delivery guy who ends up with a print out of a classified financial forecast stuck to the bottom of a pizza box and there’s all these agents after him. He thinks he’s in trouble because he slipped ol’ Mangler a bit of ‘extra topping’ if you know what I mean? I made it a comedy but in reality they shot the poor kid in the back of the head. I watched the whole thing on a pin cam. It was so tragic. Sound quality was appalling.
Any movement on that script so far?
Ridley Scott says it’s a toss up between this and Prometheus 2. He’s waiting on a second draft from Damon Lindelof, but eh, that won’t happen.
What do you mean?
Nothing! nothing at all, look how innocent I am. No I don’t have anyone watching his house…of COURSE I still don’t have friends in the industry who owe me a few favors, ha ha ha ha ha!
Ok, well this has been great, I gotta go, I have a 3 pm with…
Paul Rudd… No, his assistant is going to call in 30 seconds and cancel that. Shhh. Wait…. See?… We have all day to talk about what you can do for me.
Ridley Scott’s Angie Mangler will be in cinemas Wednesday.