HOLLYWOOD – Being the sixth instalment of Not Making Films by Steven Soderbergh, we give an intimate window into the life of one of cinema’s most beguiling unemployed talents: Steven Soderbergh.
Good Jesus Christ in Heaven with all the angels and saints I am bored. I was so bored this morning I watched Koyaanisqatsi and only at the end did I realize I’d watched the exact same film the day before. I am considering pulling at my teeth, just so that one day would be different from the next. I’m beginning to wonder whether it might not be better to get sent to prison. Maybe prison would be less boring. I mean there’d have to be some kind of drama, right? Fuck knows. I wish I did drugs. Or was an alcoholic. Or had a girlfriend. Or had friends. I used to. When I was making Ocean’s 12 it was Stevie this and ‘yeah, Brad, with you in a mo’. Less so with Ocean’s 13. Never do a favor for Ellen Barkin. Never.
June the 25th
I love the World Cup. Soccer, or football as the Europeans call it. I got myself a wall chart and I’m filling out all the results. It’s great. I’m counting all the throw ins, the corners, shots on target, off sides, yellow cards, red cards and Uruguayan bites. It’s great. I thought of inviting everyone round to my place and we can have a huge party. I phone Will Ferrell and it’s so noisy I can’t even hear him. I tell him my idea and he’s like ‘oh, I’m not really into sports’ then I hear this huge cheer go up in the background and I realize he’s hosting his own World Cup party right there and then. And he’s such a dick about it he’s trying to make out he isn’t so he doesn’t have to invite me. What a dick! I’m glad Anchorman 2 blows chunks.
June the 26th
Just had an awesome idea. I’m going to do a quick low budget film while no one is watching. Fuck em. It’ll be a remake of Victory! Amazing idea. Right? I’ll get Sly to come in and do a cameo. Terrence Stamp can be the camp commandant and I’ll get Tom Hiddleston to be the Michael Caine character.
June the 27th
F*ck Doug Liman. F*ck him to Goddan hell. Where are my pliers?
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